Animal Jokes

Funny Animal Jokes:

What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?
You can't tuna fish.

What do you call an alligator in a vest?
An Investigator

What do you call a pile of kittens
A meowntain

What do you call a bee that lives in America?

Why can't a leopard hide?
Because he's always spotted!

What do you give a dog with a fever?
Mustard, its the best thing for a hot dog!

Where do sheep go to get haircuts?
To the Baa Baa shop!

What do you call a rabbit with fleas?
Bugs Bunny!

How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?

How do spiders communicate?
Through the World Wide Web.

Why did the chicken cross the road?
To prove to the possum that it could be done!

What is it called when a cat wins a dog show?

What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?
Kitty Perry

How do you catch a fish without a fishing pole?
With your BEAR hands.

What do you call a dog magician?
A labracadabrador.

What do you call a chicken with a piece of lettuce in its eye?
Chicken Caeser Salad (Chicken Sees A Salad)

Did you hear about the old chameleon that couldn't change colour?
He had a reptile disfunction.

What do you call a fish that needs help with his or her vocals?

Cook a man a fish and you feed him for a day. But teach a man to fish and you get rid of him for the whole weekend.

Only Smart People Will Get This: 2+2= Fish, 3+3= Eight, 7+7= Triangle, 4+4 = Arrow, 8+8 = Butterfly

Wanna go on a picnic? Alpaca lunch.

Are you from Narnia? 'coz you sure make my lion roar.

I invited a teddy bear to dinner yesterday. I offered him some food but he said no thanks I'm stuffed.

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