Baboon Jokes

Q: What do you call a flying primate?
A: A hot air baboon!

Q: What do you call a naughty monkey?
A: A badboon!

Q: What do you call an exploding monkey?
A: A baBOOM!

Q: What is a Baboon's favorite cookie?
A: Chocolate chimp!

Q: What kind of monkey flies to school?
A: A hot air baboon.

How did Gertie Baboon win the beauty contest?
She was the beast of the show!

How do you prepare a Baboon sundae?
Your start getting it ready Fridae and Saturdae!

What did George Washington have to do with Baboons?
As little as possible, dummy!

What do you feed a 600 pound Baboon?
Anything it wants!

What does a Baboon attorney study?
The Law of the jungle!

What does a Baboon learn first in school?
The Apey-cees!

What gives a Baboon good taste?
Four years in an Ivy League school!

What happens if you cross a parrot with a Baboon?
Nobody is sure, but if it opened its mouth to speak, you'd listen!

When did the Baboons start to picket the cookie factory?
The day they started to manufacture animal crackers!

Which author do the Baboons love most?
Joh Steinbeck - who wrote 'The Apes of Wrath!'

Which drink makes a Baboon feel tipsy?
An ape-ricot sour!

Which technique does a Baboon borrow from another animal when it gets romantic?
The bear hug!

Who is the Baboons' favourite President of recent years?
Hairy Truman!

Why did both Germany and the U.S want to hire Baboons during World War Two?
Because they are excellent at waging Gorilla warfare!

Why did the actor fire his Baboon agent?
The big Ape kept wanting to take more than a 10% bite!

Why did the female Baboon, engaged to the invisible man, call off the wedding?
Because in the last analysis she just couldn't see it!

Why did the Baboon fail English?
He had little Ape-titude!

Why do waiters like Baboons better than flies?
Did you ever hear a customer complain 'Waiter, there's a Baboon in my soup!'

Q: Why do Baboons have big nostrils?
A: They have big fingers.

How do you make a Baboon laugh?
Tell it a whale of a tale!

How do you make a Baboon float?
Two scoops of ice cream, some club soda and a very tasty Baboon!

Q: Why don't the Baboons in the jungle play poker any more?
A: There are just too many Cheetahs.

Q: Why are Baboons so noisy?
A: They were raised in a zoo!

How did a Baboon come to be with Washington at Valley Forge?
He had seen a sign saying, 'Uncle Simian Wants You!'

Q: Why do Baboons have big nostrils?
A: Because they have big fingers!

Q: Why did the Baboon fall out of the tree?
A: It was dead.

Q: What do Baboons do when they're mad at each other?
A: They have a Gorilla war!

Q: Why did the Baboon go to the doctor?
A: Because his banana wasn't peeling very well!

Q: What should you do if you find a Baboon sitting at your school desk?
A: Sit somewhere else!

Q: What's a Baboon's favourite drink?
A: A sas-gorilla.

Q: How do Baboons get down the stairs?
A: They slide down the banana-ster!

Q: What do Baboons do when they go mad?
A: Go bananas!

Q: What do you call a Baboon playing quidditch?
A: A hairy potter!!

Q: What's a Baboons's favourite pop group?
A: Bananarama!

Q: What is a Baboons's favourite toy?
A: A Bab-boom-orang!

Q: What sort of key does a Baboon need to open a banana?
A: A monk-key!

Q: Where do Baboons like to get their hair cut?
A: Vidal Baboon!

Q: What's a Baboons favourite music band?
A: The Gorillaz!

Q: What did the banana say to the Baboon?
A: Nothing, bananas don't talk!

How do You?
A student named Jacob was sitting in class one day and the teacher walked by and he asked her "How do you put an elephant in the fridge?"
The teacher said "I don't know, how?"
Jacob then said "You open the door and put it in there!"
Then Jacob asked the teacher another question "How do you put a baboon in the fridge?"
The teacher then replied "Ohh I know this one, you open the door and put it in there?"
Jacob said "No, you open the door, take the elephant out, and then you put it in there."
Then he asked another question..."All the animals went to the lions birthday party, except one animal, which one was it?"
The teacher a bit confused and said "The lion?"
Then the student said "No,the baboon because he's still in the fridge."
then he asked her just one more question...."If there is a river full of crocodiles and you wanted to get across it,how would you"
The teacher then says "You would walk over the bridge."
Then Jacob says "No, you would swim across because all the crocodiles are at the lions birthday party!"
She laughs and walks away.

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