Worm Jokes

What do you call it when worms take over the world?
Global Worming!

What do worms leave round their baths?
The scum of the earth!

What do you get if you cross a worm and an elephant?
Very big worm holes in your garden!

What reads and lives in an apple?
A bookworm!

Did you hear about the two silkworms that were in a race?
They wound up in a tie.

What did the woodworm say to the chair?
It's been nice gnawing you!

What do you get if you cross a worm and a young goat?
A dirty kid!

What did the maggot say to another?
What's a nice maggot like you doing in a joint like this!

Why are glow worms good to carry in your bag?
They can lighten your load!

What do you get if you cross a glow worm with a python?
A 15 foot strip light that can strangle you to death!
What is a worm's favorite band?

How do you make a glow worm happy?
Cut off its tail and it will be de-lighted.

What is the maggot army called?
The Apple Corps!

Why didn't the two worms get on Noah's Ark in an apple?
Because everyone had to go on in pairs!

What does a turtle do during winter?
Sit by the fire and worm himself up.

Who is the worm's Prime Minister?
Maggot Thatcher!

What kind of computer does a worm have?
A Macintosh.

What happens when a Mexican gets to the worm?
He passes out.

Why do worms have trouble getting up in the morning?
Because the early bird catches the worm.

What eats laptops?
Computer worms.

How can you tell if you are looking at a police glow worm?
it has a blue light!

How can you tell which end of a worm is which?
Tickle it in the middle and see which end laughs!

How do you make a glow worm happy?
Cut off his tail, he'll be de-lighted!

What does a bookworm do during a baseball game?
Worm the bench.

What did the worm say to the other when he was late home?
Where in earth have you been!

When should you stop for a glow worm?
When he has a red light!

I felt so guilty after I stepped on that worm this morning. You should of seen him, he looked genuinely crushed.

A man in a movie theater notices what looks like a glow worm sitting next to him.
"Are you a glow worm?" asked the man, surprised.
"What are you doing at the movies?"
The glow worm replied, "Well, I liked the book."

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