Rhinoceros Jokes

Q: What do you get when you mix an elephant with a rhino?
A: Elephino. (HEll if I know)

Q: What has 2 tails, 3 horns and 6 feet?
A: A rhino with spare parts!

Q: What did the grape say when the Rhinoceros stood on it?
A: Nothing, it just let out a little wine!

Q: Why did the Rhino cross the road?
A: To prove to the possum that it could be done!

Q: What's grey but turns red?
A: An embarrassed rhinoceros!

Q: When does a Rhino go "mooooo"?
A: When it is learning a new language!

Q: What happens to a Rhinoceros during puberty?
A: He gets horny.

Q: What do you call a rhino in a phone booth?
A: Stuck!

Q: What is as big as a rhino but weighs nothing?
A: Its shadow!

Q: Why did the Rhino get a ticket?
A: He ran through the stomp sign.

Q: What time is it when an rhino sits on your bed?
A: Time to get a new bed!

Q. What do you get when you cross a Rhino with a garden?
A. Squash!

Q: How do you stop a rhino from charging?
A: Take away his credit card!

Q: What do you call a drunk white rhino?
A: A wino albino rhino.

Q: How do you know there is a rhinoceros in the fridge?
A: You cannot shut the door.

Q: What's more amazing than a talking Rhino?
A: A spelling bee!

Q: What do you call a Rhino with a carrot in each ear?
A: Anything you want as he can't hear you!

Q: What do you call a slutty rhino?
A: a rhihoe.

Dear Unicorns.....real animals have curves.

Knock knock
Who's there
Rhino who?
Rhino every knock knock joke there is.

Knock knock
Who's there
Rhino who?
Rhino which way the wind blows.

Pickup Truck

A police officer sees a man driving around with a pickup truck and a rhino in the cab. He pulls the guy over and says...
"You can't drive around with rhinos in this town! Take him to the zoo immediately."
The guy says "OK"... and drives away.
The next day, the officer sees the guy still driving around with a rhino, and he is wearing sun glasses. He pulls the guy over and demands...
"I thought I told you to take this rhino to the zoo yesterday?"
The guy replies...
"I did . . . today I'm taking him to the beach!"

Religious Cowboy

The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the savannah.
Three weeks later, a Rhinoceros walked up to him carrying the Bible in its mouth.
The cowboy couldn't believe his eyes.
He took the precious book out of the Rhinos mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, "It's a miracle!"
"Not really," said the Rhino. "Your name is written inside the cover."

Night of Drinking
A man and his pet Rhinoceros walk into a bar. It's about 5pm, but they're ready for a good night of drinking.
They start off slowly, watching TV, drinking beer, eating peanuts. As the night goes on they move to mixed drinks, and then shooters, one after the other.
Finally, the bartender says: "Last call."
So, the man says, "One more for me... and one more for my Rhinoceros."
The bartender sets them up and they shoot them back. Suddenly, the Rhinoceros falls over dead.
The man throws some money on the bar, puts on his coat and starts to leave.
The bartender, yells: "Hey buddy, you can't just leave that lyin' there."
To which the man replies: "That's not a lion, that's a Rhinoceros."

A man in a movie theater notices what looks like a Rhino sitting next to him.
"Are you a Rhino?" asked the man, surprised.
"What are you doing at the movies?"
The Rhinoceros replied, "Well, I liked the book."

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