Elephant Jokes

What did the elephant say to a naked man?
Hey that's cute but can you breath through it?

What's grey, stands in a river when it rains and doesn't get wet?
An elephant with an umbrella!

Why does an elephant wear sneakers?
So that he can sneak up on mice!

What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter?
An irrelephant.

What's big and grey and wears a mask?
The elephantom of the opera!

What's grey and moves at a hundred miles an hour?
A jet propelled elephant!

Why does the elephant bring toilet paper to the party?
Because he is a party pooper.

Why did the elephant cross the road?
Because the chicken was having a day off!

I suppose when you've seen one lion catch an elephant, you've seen a maul.

What do you get when you mix an elephant with a rhino?
Elephino. (HEll if I know)

What do you call an elephant at the North Pole?

Why did the elephant go in the mens restroom?
To get some nuts

What do you get when you cross a potato with an elephant?
Mashed potatoes!

What do elephants and trees have in common?
They both have big trunks!

Why were the elephants thrown out of the swimming pool?
Because they couldn't hold their trunks up!

What grey, has a wand, huge wings and gives money to elephants?
The tusk fairy!

What has 3 tails, 4 trunks and 6 feet?
An elephant with spare parts!

Why did the elephants start a stampede?
Because the wanted to be herd.

Why can't an elephant use a computer?
He's too afraid of the mouse.

What's grey but turns red?
An embarrassed elephant!

What is an elephants favorite rap song?
I like big nuts, and I cannot lie.

What do you get when you cross a Elephant with a garden?

Where does an elephant pack his luggage?
In his trunk!

What time is it when a elephant sits on a fence?
Time to get a new fence.

What's grey, beautiful and wears glass slippers?

Why did the Elephant get a ticket?
He ran through the stomp sign.

What is an elephants favorite sport?

When should you feed milk to a baby elephant?
When it's a baby elephant!

How do you know when there is an elephant under your bed?
When your nose touches the ceiling!

What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Why did the elphant cross the road?
because the chicken wanted a day off.

What do you call an elephant that flies?
A jumbo jet!

What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?
Time to get a new bed!

Why did the elephants get kicked out of the pool?
Because their trunks kept on falling down.

What do you get when you cross an elephant with a dairy cow?
Peanut butter.

What can an elephant make that no other animal can make?
A baby elephant.

How do you stop an elephant from charging?
Take away his credit card!

What weighs four tons and is red?
An elephant holding its breath.

Why did the elephant leave the circus?
He was tired of working for peanuts.

What do you call a passenger plane shaped like an elephant?
A dumbo jet.

What did the grape say when the elephant stood on it?
Nothing, it just let out a little wine!

What to you get if you cross a parrot with an elephant?
An animal that tells you everything that it remembers!

What did the elephant say when the man grabbed him by the tail?
This is the end of me!

What's invisible and smells like peanuts?
Elephant farts.

What do you get if you cross an elephant with a kangaroo?
Giant holes all over Australia.

Why do the elephants have short tails?
Because they can't remember long stories!

What do elephants sing at christmas?
Noel-ephants, Noel-ephants... Who do elephants get their christmas presents from?
Elephanta Claus!

Why don't elephants like playing cards in the jungle?
Because of all the cheetahs!

What do you call a elephant that never washes?
A smellyphant!

Teacher: "Where would you find an elephant?"
Pupil:"You don't have to find them, they're too big to lose!"

What do you call an elephant with a carrot in each ear?
Anything you want as he can't hear you!

Teacher: "Name six wild animals"
Pupil:"Four elephants and two lions!"

What do you call an elephant that lies across the middle of a tennis court?

What do you call an elephant creeping through the jungle in the middle of the night?

What do you call an elephant with a rabbit up it's sweater?

What is an elephant that flies?
A propellaphant.

What do you call the rabbit up the elephant's sweater?

What do you call someone with an elephant on their head?

Whats the difference between your mom and an African Elephant?
Ten pounds.

Who lost a herd of elephants?
Big bo peep!

What do you get when you cross an elephant with a fish?
Swimming Trunks

How are elephants and computers similar?
They both have big memories.

What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?
Its shadow!

What is an elephants favorite film?
Elephantasia What do elephants say as a compliment?
You look elephantastic!

What do you do with old cannon balls?
Give them to elephants to use as marbles!

What animals were last to leave the ark?
The elephants as they had to pack their trunks!

Why do elephants paint their toenails red?
To hide in cherry trees.
Have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree? (they say no)
Works, doesn't it?

If uncle jack helped you off an elephant would you help uncle jack off an elephant

An elephant flew past at 200 miles per hour. It was a Nelliecopter

Doctor, I see purple elephants everywhere.
"And have you seen a psychologist?" the doctor asks
The man answers "No just elephants at the moment."

How do You?
A student named Jacob was sitting in class one day and the teacher walked by and he asked her "How do you put an elephant in the fridge?"
The teacher said "I don't know, how?"
Jacob then said "You open the door and put it in there!"
Then Jacob asked the teacher another question "How do you put a girraffe in the fridge?"
The teacher then replied "Ohh I know this one, you open the door and put it in there?"
Jacob said "No, you open the door, take the elephant out, and then you put it in there."
Then he asked another question..."All the animals went to the lions birthday party, except one animal, which one was it?"
The teacher a bit confused and said "The lion?"
Then the student said "No,the girraffe because he's still in the fridge."
then he asked her just one more question...."If there is a river full of crocodiles and you wanted to get across it,how would you"
The teacher then says "You would walk over the bridge."
Then Jacob says "No, you would swim across because all the crocodiles are at the lions birthday party!"
She laughs and walks away.

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