Fast Food Jokes

Q: Why don't they have any toilet paper in KFC?
A: Because its finger licking good! 

Q: What do a gynocologist and a pizza boy have in common?
A: They can smell it but they cant eat it! 

Q: How did Burger King get Diary Queen Pregnant?
A: He forgot to wrap his whopper. 

Q: Where does the one legged waitress work?
A: The Ihop 

Q: What do you get if you play McDonald's Monopoly 30 Days Straight?
A: A Heart Attack!!

Q: Why is your Mom like a Big Mac?
A: Because she's full of fat and only worth a buck.

Q: What's thick, white and comes in your burger?
A: McDonalds' staff.

Q: What is peter pans favorite place to eat?
A: I dont know!....WENDYS

Q: Did you see the Will Smith movie about McDonalds?
A: It's called the "Pursuit of Happy Meals"

Q: Why don't Americans eat snails?
A: Because they like "Fast Food".

Q: What do you call a pig thief?
A: A hamburglar.

Q: What did the hamburger say to the other hamburger in the bathroom?
A: I musturd!

Q: How did the burger propose to a fry?
A: With an onion ring.

Q: Why did the rooster cross the road to KFC?
A: To see a chicken strip.

Q: Why did Five Guys survive the flood?
A: Because it was built on solid ground beef.

Q: Why did the chicken go to Burger King?
A: To see a chicken strip.

Q: What's better than a talking burrito?
A: Adele taco.

Q: Why did the french fry win the race?
A: Because it was fast food!

Q: What did Little Caesars say to Wendys?
A: You'll always have a pizza my heart.

Q: What Dr Seuss book do they read every morning in Canada?
A: Tim Hortons Hears a Who.

Q: Why did the rooster cross the road?
A: He heard that the chickens at KFC were pretty hot.

Did you hear McDonald killed Burger King in front of Five Guys over that skank Wendy?
The funeral is at White Castle. I'm taking Dairy Queen.

Q: Why is it called "Fast Food"?
A: It's called "fast" food because you're supposed to eat it really fast. Otherwide, you might actually taste it.

Q: Why is Fast Food increasing illegal immigration?
A: "Fast" food slows you down when it hits your stomach, parks there, and lets the fat have time to get off and apply for citizenship. 

Q: Where do they hold prizefights in Fastfoodland? 
A: In an onion ring!

Q: Why do hamburgers go to the gym?
A: To get better buns.

Q: Why did the man climb to the roof of the fast food restaurant? 
A: The told him the meal was on the house!

Q: Where are the best tacos served?
A: In the Gulp of Mexico!

What did the frog order at McDonald's?
French flies and a diet Croak

Q: Would octopus make a good fast food?
A: You must be squidding!

Q: Where do burgers like to dance?
A: At a meat ball!

Q: Did you hear about the time Billy Crystal took Meg Ryan to McDonalds?
A: It's "When Harry Fed Sally".

Q: How did the hamburger introduce his wife?
A: Meet patty (meat patty)

Q: Why did the Hobbit get a job at Burger King?
A: He wanted to be "Lord of the Onion Rings".

Q: What do you get when you cross a hamburger with a computer?
A: A big mac!

Q: What did Sushi A say to Sushi B?
A: Wasabi!

Q: My bookish kid asked me why we have to go to B-Dubs for his birthday?
A: I told them it's "Where the Wild Wings Are".

Q: What did the hamburger say to the pickle?
A: You're dill-icious!

Q: What are the best days of the week in FastFoodland?
A: Fry-day and Sundae!

Q: When can a hamburger marry a hot dog?
A: After they have a very frank relationship!

Q: How are UFOs related to White Castle?
A: Both are Unidentified Frying Objects!

Q: What do race horses eat?
A: Fast Food.

Q: How do you insult a hamburger patty?
A: Call it a meatball

Where do Disney characters like to eat?
Answer: Mickey D's (Mcdonald's)

Q: How do you make a hamburger smile?
A: Pickle it gently!

Q: Did you read the book J.D. Salinger wrote about "phony" fast food?
A: It's titled "Catcher in the Fries".

Q: If Burger King married Dairy Queen where would they live?
A: At White Castle

Q: What do you call superheroes that like fast food?
A: Batman and Red Robin.

Q: How does a pitcher walk a man in Burger King baseball League?
A: He throws four meatballs!

Q: How is the trans-fat free Starbucks better than before?
A: There new trans-fat free Frappacino will pad your ass without clogging your arteries!

Q: Did you hear about the hamburger who couldn't stop making jokes?
A: He was on a roll!

Ronald McDonald got arrested. He stuck his big Mac into Wendy's hot n juicy.

Yeah I'm into fitness! Fit'ness whole burger into my mouth.

Most people want a perfect relationship. I just want a hamburger that looks like the ones in commercials.

If bartenders are not allowed to sell beer to drunk people then why are McDonalds allowed to sell hambugers to fat people.

I told Ariana Grande about McDonald's All Day Breakfast Menu and she started singing "Thank you bacon eggs, Thank you bacon eggs"

Mary had a little lamb
she shot it with a gun
she sold it to McDonald's
and now its on a bun.

One day there was a kid who was asked to recite the first four letters of the alphabet by his teacher.
So he went home and asked his brother the first letter. He said "SHUT UP! I'M ON THE PHONE!"
Then he asked his Mom the second letter. She said "Yes!"
Then he asked his Dad the third letter. He said "Kentucky Fried Chicken!!!"
Then he asked his cousin the fourth and final letter. "In a big fat car! In a big fat car! In a big fat car!
So he went to school. The teacher asked him, "Tell me the first four letters in the alphabet."
So he said "SHUT UP! I'M ON THE PHONE!" " Young man, do I need to take you to the principal? "Yes!"
So he went to the principal. The principal said. "Who do you think you are?!" "Kentucky Fried Chicken!!!"
"And, how are you getting away with this?!" "In a big fat car! In a big fat car!"

Cross the Road
Why did the chicken cross the hot desert road?
To get out of town, but who picked her up?
A man in a white suit, white beard, and black glasses that told her he could give her a lift all the way to Kentucky.

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