Giraffe Jokes

Q: What do you get when two giraffes collide?
A: A giraffic jam.

Q: What did Dracula say then he saw a giraffe for the first time?
A: I'd like to get to gnaw you.

Q: What's the silliest name you can give a giraffe?
A: Stumpy.

Q: Why did the giraffe get bad grades?
A: He had his head in the clouds.

Q: Whats green and hangs from trees?
A: Giraffe snot.

Q: What do you call a royal giraffe?
A: Your high-ness.

Q: What do you get if you cross a giraffes with a police-man ?
A: Long-arm of the Law !

Q: Why don't giraffes like fast food?
A: Because they can't catch it!

I suppose when you've seen one lion catch a giraffe, you've seen a maul.

Q: What's the difference between a tractor and a giraffe?
A: One has hydrolics and the other has high bollocks

Q: When does a giraffe have 8 legs?
A: When there are two of them!

Q: Why do giraffes have long necks?
A: Because their feet smell!

Q: What do you get when you cross a giraffe with a hedgehog?
A: A twelve-foot toothbrush

Q: Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?
A: It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.

Q: What do you call a giraffe winning a horse race?
A: A longshot.

Q: What do you call an animal that turns into a boat?

Q: What do giraffes have that no one else has?
A: Baby giraffes!

Q: Why was the giraffe late?
A: Because he got caught in a giraffic jam!

A giraffe walked in to a bar and the barman said whats with the long face.

Religious Zookeeper

The devout zookeeper lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out at the zoo.
Three weeks later, a giraffe walked up to him carrying the Bible in its mouth.
The zookeeper couldn't believe his eyes.
He took the precious book out of the giraffe's mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, "It's a miracle!"
"Not really," said the giraffe. "Your name is written inside the cover."

Night of Drinking
A man and his pet giraffe walk into a bar. It's about 5pm, but they're ready for a good night of drinking.
They start off slowly, watching TV, drinking beer, eating peanuts. As the night goes on they move to mixed drinks, and then shooters, one after the other.
Finally, the bartender says: "Last call."
So, the man says, "One more for me... and one more for my giraffe."
The bartender sets them up and they shoot them back. Suddenly, the giraffe falls over dead.
The man throws some money on the bar, puts on his coat and starts to leave.
The bartender, yells: "Hey buddy, you can't just leave that lyin' there."
To which the man replies: "That's not a lion, that's a giraffe."

A man in a movie theater notices what looks like a baby giraffe sitting next to him.
"Are you a baby giraffe?" asked the man, surprised.
"What are you doing at the movies?"
The giraffe replied, "Well, I liked the book."

How do You?
A student named Jacob was sitting in class one day and the teacher walked by and he asked her "How do you put an elephant in the fridge?"
The teacher said "I don't know, how?"
Jacob then said "You open the door and put it in there!"
Then Jacob asked the teacher another question "How do you put a girraffe in the fridge?"
The teacher then replied "Ohh I know this one, you open the door and put it in there?"
Jacob said "No, you open the door, take the elephant out, and then you put it in there."
Then he asked another question..."All the animals went to the lions birthday party, except one animal, which one was it?"
The teacher a bit confused and said "The lion?"
Then the student said "No,the girraffe because he's still in the fridge."
then he asked her just one more question...."If there is a river full of crocodiles and you wanted to get across it,how would you"
The teacher then says "You would walk over the bridge."
Then Jacob says "No, you would swim across because all the crocodiles are at the lions birthday party!"
She laughs and walks away.

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