Tiger Jokes

Q: What's a tiger running a copy machine called?
A: A copycat!

Q. Why did the tiger loose at poker?
A. Because he was playing with a cheetah

Q: Why are tigers religious?
A: Because they prey frequently, and prey as a family!

Q: Where does a tiger sleep?
A: Anywhere he wants to!

Q: What is the fiercest flower in the garden?
A: A tiger lily!

Q: Whats striped and bouncy?
A: A tiger on a pogo stick!

Q: What flies around your light at night and can bite your head off?
A: A tiger moth!

Q: Why did Tigger look in the toilet?
A: He was looking for pooh.

Q: What does Calvin feed Hobbes?
A: Nothing he's already stuffed.

Q: How are tigers are like sergeants in the army?
A: They both wear stripes!

Q: What do tigers sing at Christmas?
A: Jungle bells!jungle bells!

Q: What do you call a tiger that explodes?
A: A bang-al tiger.

Q: What do you call a tiger that likes to dig in the sand?
A: Sandy claws!

Q: How do tigers describe themselves?
A: Purr-fect!

Q: What do you get when you cross a tiger and a snowman?
A: Frost-bite!

Q: Would you rather have a tiger eat you or a lion?
A: I would rather have a tiger eat a lion.

Q: Why can't a tiger become a herbivore?
A: A tiger can't change his stripes.

Q: On which side does a tiger have most stripes?
A: On the outside.

Q: Who went into the tigers den and came out alive?
A: The tiger.

Q: What do you get if you cross a tiger and a sheep?
A: A stripey sweater.

Q: What's striped and goes round and round?
A: A tiger in a revolving door.

Q: What 4 animals does a woman need in her life?
A: A mink on her back, a jaguar in the garage, a tiger in her bed and a jackass to pay for it all.

Q: What's the silliest name you can give a tiger?
A: Spot.

Q: If a four-legged animal a quadruped and a two-legged animal is a biped, what's a tiger?
A: Stri-ped.

Q: What happened when the tiger ate the comedian ?
A: He felt funny !

Q: What does the tiger say to his friends before they go out hunting for food ?
A: 'Let us prey.'

Q: What do you get if you cross a tiger with a watchdog ?
A: A terrified postman !

Q: What's the difference between a tiger and a lion ?
A: A tiger has the mane part missing

Q: What is tiger's favorite food ?
A: Baked beings !

Q: How does a tiger greet the other animals in the field ?
A: 'Pleased to eat you.' !

Q: On which day do tiger eat people ?
A: Chewsday !

Q: Why don't tigers like fast food?
A: Because they can't catch it!

Q: How do you take a tiger's temperature?
A: Very carefully!

Q: Why do tigers always eat raw meat?
A: Because they don't know how to cook.

A lion would never cheat on his wife. But a Tiger Wood.

Is your daddy, Tony The Tiger, cause you look grrrrreattt.

Every woman should have four pets in her life. A mink in her closet, a jaguar in her garage, a tiger in her bed, and a jackass who pays for everything.

Religious Cowboy
The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the range.
Three weeks later, a tiger walked up to him carrying the Bible in its mouth.
The cowboy couldn't believe his eyes.
He took the precious book out of the tiger's mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, "It's a miracle!"
"Not really," said the tiger. "Your name is written inside the cover."

Baby Tiger
A baby tiger goes to see his mother and asks her

"Mom, why do we have large hind limbs?"

She replies "It is allows us to jump up to 30 feet, swim, and capture prey."
The baby tiger then asks "Ah, and why do we have stripes all over our body"
"It is to provide us camoflauge in the jungle and break up our body types in eyes of our prey" the mother replies
"Oh, Ok" and the baby looks around him and turns to his mother:
"But then Mom, what are we doing in San Diego Zoo?"

Night of Drinking
A man and his pet tiger walk into a bar. It's about 5pm, but they're ready for a good night of drinking.
They start off slowly, watching TV, drinking beer, eating peanuts. As the night goes on they move to mixed drinks, and then shooters, one after the other.
Finally, the bartender says: "Last call."
So, the man says, "One more for me... and one more for my tiger."
The bartender sets them up and they shoot them back. Suddenly, the tiger falls over dead.
The man throws some money on the bar, puts on his coat and starts to leave.
The bartender, yells: "Hey buddy, you can't just leave that lyin' there."
To which the man replies: "That's not a lion, that's a tiger."

Tiger and Sheep
A family visits the Zoo and stop in front of a cage. Inside is a tiger and a sheep. Surprised, the dad asks the zookeeper,
"How can these two animals get along together?"
The keeper explains:
"It's very simple: we replace the sheep every morning!"

A man in a movie theater notices what looks like a tiger sitting next to him.
"Are you a tiger?" asked the man, surprised.
"What are you doing at the movies?"
The tiger replied, "Well, I liked the book."

Front Seat
A policeman in the big city stops a man in a car with a tiger in the front seat.
"What are you doing with that tiger?" He exclaimed, "You should take it to the zoo."
The following week, the same policeman sees the same man with the tiger again in the front seat, with both of them wearing sunglasses. The policeman pulls him over.
"I thought you were going to take that tiger to the zoo!"
The man replied, "I did. We had such a good time we are going to the beach this weekend!"

How do You?
A student named Jacob was sitting in class one day and the teacher walked by and he asked her "How do you put an elephant in the fridge?"
The teacher said "I don't know, how?"
Jacob then said "You open the door and put it in there!"
Then Jacob asked the teacher another question "How do you put a girraffe in the fridge?"
The teacher then replied "Ohh I know this one, you open the door and put it in there?"
Jacob said "No, you open the door, take the elephant out, and then you put it in there."
Then he asked another question..."All the animals went to the tigers birthday party, except one animal, which one was it?"
The teacher a bit confused and said "The tiger?"
Then the student said "No,the girraffe because he's still in the fridge."
then he asked her just one more question...."If there is a river full of crocodiles and you wanted to get across it,how would you"
The teacher then says "You would walk over the bridge."
Then Jacob says "No, you would swim across because all the crocodiles are at the lions birthday party!"
She laughs and walks away.

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