Archive Jokes
IRS GUY
In a long line of people waiting for a bank teller, one guy suddenly
started
massaging the back of the person in front of him. Surprised, the man
in front
turned and snarled, "Just what the hell are you doing?"
"Well," said the guy, "you see, I'm a massage
therapist and I could see that you
were tense, so I had to massage your back. Sometimes I just can't
help
practicing my art!"
"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard!" the guy
replied. "I work for the
IRS. Do you see me screwing the guy in front of me?"
By Steve C
BRIDGE ANYONE
A cleaning woman was applying for a new position. When asked why
she left her last employment, she replied, "Yes sir, they paid
good wages,
but it was the most ridiculous place I ever worked.
They played a game called Bridge, and last night lots of folks were
there.
As I was about to bring in the refreshments, I heard a man say
"Lay down and let's
see what you've got."
Another man said "I've got strength but no length."
Another man said to a lady, "Take your hand off my trick."
I pretty
near dropped dead just then when the lady answered, "You jumped
me
twice when you didn't have the strength for one raise."
Another lady was talking about her protecting her honor, and two
other ladies said,
Now it' s time for me to play with your husband and you can play
with
mine."
Well, I just got my hat and coat and as I was leaving, I hope to die
if I didn't hear someone say, "Well I guess we'll go home now,
that was
the last rubber."
By Maria M
JEWISH GRANDMA
The children and grand children of an elderly Jewish woman decided
to
send grandma on a cruise. Grandma boarded the ship and showed her
ticket to the purser.
He looked at it and said, "Oh, I see you have U.D."
She replied, "U.D.? Voos is U.D.?
He said, "U.D. is Upper Deck."
She then went to the upper deck and showed her ticket to the purser
there and he said, "I see, that in addition to U.D., you also
have O.C."
Grandma replied, "O.C.? Voos is O.C.?"
The purser said, "O.C. is Outside Cabin."
Grandma, needless to say, was delighted. She then showed her ticket
to the
cabin boy and he said,
"Oh, I see that you also have B.I.B."
"B.I.B.? Voos is B.I.B.?" asked grandma.
The cabin boy answered, "B.I.B. is Breakfast In Bed."
"Oh" she said; "Mine children and grandchildren are
vonderful."
Well, the next morning, bright and early, the staff came right into
her
room with trays of food for her breakfast in bed and she said,
"F.U.C.K"
Shocked, they said, "F.U.C.K? What do you mean F.U.C.K.?",
to which she
replied, "Yes, F.U.C.K. First U Could Knock!"
By Maria M
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