Q: What's the first thing Barack and Michelle will ask their new pastor in Washington, D.C.?
A: 'Have you ever been videotaped screaming 'God damn America!'?
Q: What’s the difference between Ross Perot and Barack Obama?
A: Ross Perot is crackpot with big ears; Barack Obama is a pothead with big ears.
Q: Why did Obama change his name from Barry to Barack?
A: He thought Barry sounded too American.
Q: Which person did President Obama thank first for helping him win the 2008 election?
A: Sarah Palin
Q: Other than health care what other promises has Barack Obama made to the American People?
A: Balancing the budget, reining in the banks and putting a unicorn in every backyard!
Q: What do Barack Obama & Tiger Woods have in common?
A: They are both trying to screw everybody!
Q: How do you know your doctor is not a fan of Obama's Health Care Plan?
A: He/she has remodeled the waiting room with death paneling.
Q: How is Obama going to make the tabacco industry pay for health care reform?
A: By allowing Marlboro Miles to be redeemed for health care coverage!
Q: How is Barack Obama going to get Republicans to cross party lines and support health care reform?
A: By giving their mistresses free breast implants!
Q: Will health care be different under Barack Obama's new reforms?
A: No, but if you call right now, you might get an appointment by then!
Q: Why is Healthcare reform so important to the enigmatic Barack Obama?
A: His pregnant mom was turned away from many hospitals and was forced to give birth in a manger!
Q: Why is it pointless for Barack Obama to hold Senior Citizens Q & A sessions on the internet?
A: Because microwave ovens don't have internet connections!
Q: Under Obama's health care plan can you get coverage for preexisting conditions?
A: Certainly, as long as they don't require any treatment!
Q: Why has America gotten past our racist past?
A: Because we picked a black man to clean up our mess!
Q: How can Barack Obama get the rich to pay their taxes?
A: By nominating them to a cabinent post!
Q: What does Barack Obama think is more dangerous than the Middle East?
A: Reverend Jeremiah Wright and a microphone!
Q: Why is it surprising that Dick Cheney and Barack Obama are related?
A: Because Dick Cheney now has more blacks and gays in his own family than in the entire Republican Party!
Q: What did Barack Obama say in his 30 minute primetime infomercial?
A: 'If you vote early, we'll throw in a set of steak knives and a can of Oxiclean.'"
Q: Why shouldn't Sarah Palin look into Barack Obama's campaign contributions saying that Obama may have received $3.3 million from abroad?
A: It turns out that broad is Oprah Winfrey!
Q. What's the difference between Obama bin Biden and Osama bin Laden?
A. With Obama bin Biden you get two for the price of one.
Q, Why did Barack Obama cross the road?
A. To help the other side!
Q, Whats Obama's new slogan in these tough times?
A. Spare Change You Can Believe In!
Q: What's the difference between Obama and God?
A: God doesn't think he is Obama
Q: What is the difference between Obama and Jesus?
A: Jesus can put a cabinet together
Q: What is the difference between Obama and Osama?
A: Just a little bs
Q: Why should Obama have choosen Evan Bayh for Vice President?
A: The name Birch Evans Bayh III makes Barack Hussein Obama sound almost normal.
Q: Why won't Obama release his real birth certificate?
A: The ink isn't dry yet.
Q: Why won't Obama release his real birth certificate?
A: He accidently smoked it.
Q: Why won't Obama Messiah release his real birth certificate?
A: It got mixed in with his Rezko mortgage records and shredded.
Q. Why won’t Obama laugh at himself?
A. Because it would be racist.
Q: What do you get when you cross a crooked politician with a crooked lawyer?
A: Barack Obama!
Q: Why will Jay Leno vote for Barack Obama?
A: Because he's running out of George Bush jokes.
Q. How will Osama Bin Laden vote for Barack Obama?
A. Absentee ballot!
Q: Why will Bill Ayers vote for Barack Obama?
A: Bill thinks Obama's the bomb.
Q: What does Simba and Obama have in common?
A: One is an African Lion and the other one is a lyin African!
Q: Did you hear about Obama's plan to end unemployment?
A: He's gonna expand the NBA to 32,000 teams!
Q: How did he get the 200,000 people at one of his 2008 presidential election World Tour rallies to cheer?
A: He said he'd make David Hasselhoff his chief of staff!
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