"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
Q: What do you give the blonde who has everything?
A: Penicillin.
Q: What do you call a skeleton in the closet with blonde hair?
A: Last year's hide-and-go-seek winner.
Q: What do you call a basement full of blondes?
A: A whine cellar.
Q: Why do men like blonde jokes?
A: Because they can understand them.
Q: Hear about the blonde that got an AM radio?
A: It took her a month to realize she could play it at night.
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
Q: What happened to the blonde ice hockey team?
A: They drowned in Spring training.
Q: What did the blonde say when she saw the sign in front of
the YMCA?
A: "Look! they spelled MACYS wrong!"
Q: Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence?
A: To see what was on the other side.
Q: How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?
A: Tell her a joke on Wednesday.
Q: Why did the blonde stare at frozen orange juice?
A: Because it said 'concentrate'.
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
Q: What do smart Blondes and UFOs have in common?
A: You always hear about them but you never see them.
Q:Why does it take longer to build a Blonde snowman as opposed to a
regular one?
A: You have to hollow out the head.
Q: How do you get a twinkle in a Blonde's eye?
A: Shine a flashlight in her ear.
Q: Why can't Blondes make ice cubes?
A: They always forget the recipe.
Q: Did you hear about the two Blondes that were found frozen to
death in
their car at a drive-in movie
theater?
A: They went to see "Closed for the Winter".
Q: Why won't they hire Blondes as pharmacists?
A: They keep breaking the prescription bottles in the
typewriters.
Q: Why did the blonde go around the block eight times?
A: Because her signal light got stuck.
Q: How
can you tell a blonde is being unfaithful?
A: Everybody in the neighborhood is going to the pharmacy for
penicillin.
By Tony
Tee
Q: Why did the blonde jump off
the cliff?
A: She thought her maxi pad had wings
Q: Why did god give blonde's 2 more brain cells than he gave cows?
A: So they wouldn't shit all over when you played with their
tits.
Q: Why do blondes like tilt steering????
A: More head room
Q: What do you call a skeleton in a closet with
blonde hair?
A: Last years hide and seek winner!
Q: What is the difference between a 747jambo jet and a blonde?
A: Not everyone has been
in a
747
Q: Why did the blonde's tits appear rectangular?
A: Because she forgot to take the tissues out of the box!
By
NYADREAMSZ
Q: WHY ARE BLONDES LIKE PIANOS?
A: When they aren't upright, they're grand.
Q: How do you get a blonde pregnant?
A: Come in her shoes and let the flies do the rest.
Q: Why can't blondes count to 70?
A: Because 69 is a bit of a mouthful.
Q: How do you get a blonde to marry you?
A: Tell her she's pregnant.
Q: WHY DON`T BLONDES LIKE ANAL SEX?
A: They don`t like their brains being screwed with.
Q: What will she ask you?
A: "Is it mine?"
Q: How do you know a blonde likes you?
A: She screws you two nights in a row.
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
Q: How do you get a blonde off of your knees?
A: Come.
Q: How does a blonde kill a fish?
A: She drowns it.
Q: WHY ARE BLONDES SO EASY TO GET INTO BED?
A: Who cares?
Q: A blond going to London on a plane, how can you steal her
window seat?
A: Tell her the seats that are going to London are all in the middle
row.
Q: How does a blonde hold her liquor?
A: By the ears.
Q: How do you know a blonde has just lost her virginity?
A: Her crayons are still sticky.
Q: How does a blonde moonwalk?
A: She pulls down her panties and slides her ass along the floor!
Q: WHY CAN`T BLONDES WATER-SKI?
A: When they get their crotch wet they think they have to lay down.
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
Q: What is 61 to a blonde?
A: She wants 8 (ate) more.
By
CissAfrwdSt82
Q: What does a blonde and a turtle have in common?
A: If either one of them end up on there back they are both f*cked.
By Navyman
Q: What's the difference between a chorus line of blondes and a
magician?
A: A magician has a cunning array of stunts.
By Steve
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and the Panama Canal?
A: The Panama Canal is a busy ditch.
By Nick21
Q: WHAT DO YOU CALL A BLONDE WITH PIGTAILS?
A: A BLOW JOB WITH HANDLEBARS
By Megan
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
Q. Why did the blonde shoot the clock?
A. To Kill time
By Lee
A Blonde told her girlfriend,
"I was so worried that my mechanic might try to rip me off.
And I was so relieved when he told me that all I needed was blinker
fluid!"
Q: Why don't blondes in San Francisco wear short black mini
skirts?
A: Cause their balls show!
Q: How do you measure a blonde's intelligence?
A: Stick a tire pressure gauge in her ear!
Q: How do you keep a BLONDE busy all day?
A: Put her in a round room and tell her to sit in the
corner.
Q: How did the BLONDE die ice fishing?
A: She was run over by the zambonis machine.
Q: How do you get a blonde pregnant?
A: Come in her shoes and let the flies do the rest.
Q: How do you get a BLONDE to marry you?
A: Tell her she's pregnant.
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
Q: What a BLONDE will ask the doctor, in the
maternity ward?
A: "Is it mine?"
Q: How do you get a blonde off of your knees?
A: Come.
Q: How does a blonde kill a fish?
A: She drowns it.
Q: A blond going to London on a plane, how can you steal her
window seat?
A: Tell her the seats that are going to
London are all in the middle row.
Q: How does a blonde hold her liquor?
A: By the ears.
Q: How do you know a blond likes you?
A: She screws you two nights in a row.
Q: How do you know a blonde has just lost her virginity?
A: Her crayons are still sticky.
Q: How does a blonde moonwalk?
A:
She pulls down her panties and slides her ass along the floor!
Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot?
A: Bigfoot has been spotted.
Q: Why is a washing machine better than a blonde?
A: Because you can drop your load in a washing machine, and
it won't follow you around for a week.
Q: What do you say to a blonde with no arms and no legs?
A: "Nice tits!"
Q: What does a blonde make best for dinner?
A: Reservations.
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
Q: What do Darren Millane (Collingwood footballer killed in a
recent car crash) and
a blonde have in common?
A: Put either of 'em in a car
and their fucked.
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
Q: What do blondes do with their arseholes in the morning?
A: Pack their lunch and send them to work.
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
Q: What does a blonde say when she gives birth?
A: Gee, Are you sure it's mine?
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
Q: What do blondes and cow-pats have in common?
A: They both get easier to pick-up with age.
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
Q: What does a blonde say when you ask her if her blinker is on?
A: It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off. It's on.
It's off.
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
Q: What does a peroxide blonde and a 747 have in common?
A1: They both have a black box.
A2: Both have a cockpit.
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
Q: What do you get when you offer a blonde a penny for her
thoughts?
A: Change.
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
Q: What does a blonde say if you blow in his/her ear?
A: "Thanks for the refill!"
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
Q: What do blondes do after they comb their hair?
A: They pull up their pants.
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
Q: What do you call a skeleton in the closet with blonde hair?
A: Last years hide and go seek winner.
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
Q: What do you call a basement full of blondes?
A: A whine cellar.
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
Q: What do you call five blondes at the bottom of the pool?
A: Air bubbles.
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
Q: What do you call a room full of women, half with PMS, half
with yeast infections?
A: A whine and cheese
party!
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
Q: What do you call 3 blondes, a chimp, and another blonde
standing on a street corner?
A: 4 f*cks, 4 f*cks,
4 f*cks, not for a zillion f*cks, 4 f*cks!
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
Q: What do you call a blonde lesbian?
A: A waste.
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
Q: What do you call 4 blondes lying on the ground?
A: An air mattress.
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
Q: What do you call a dumb blonde behind a steering wheel?
A: An Air Bag.
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
Q: What do you call a blonde between two brunettes?
A: A mental block.
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
Q: What do you call 10 blondes standing ear to ear?
A: A wind tunnel.
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
Q: What do you call 15 blondes in a circle?
A: A dope ring.
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
Q: What do you call an unmarried blond in a BMW?
A: Divorcee'
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
Q: What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells?
A: Pregnant.
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
Q: What do you call a blonde in an institution of higher
learning?
A: A visitor.
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain?
A: Gifted!
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
Q: What do you call a blonde with a dollar on the top of their head?
A: All you can eat, under a buck.
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
Q: Why did god give blonds 2% more brains than
horses?
A: Because he didn't want them shitting in the
streets during parades.
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
Q: How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree?
A: Wave to her.
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
Q: How does a blonde measure his/her IQ?
A: With a tire gauge! (da da dum)
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
Q: How does the blond turn on the light after she has had sex?
A: She opens the car door.
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
Q: How does a blonde get pregnant?
A: And I thought blondes were dumb!
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
Q: How does a blonde part their hair?
A1: (Action of scissoring legs apart)
A2: By doing the splits.
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
Q: How do you get a blondes eyes to twinkle?
A: Shine a torch in her ears.
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
Q: How do you tell when a blonde reaches orgasm?
A1: She drops her nail-file!
A2: Who cares?
A3: She says, "Next".
A4: The next person in the queue taps you on the shoulder.
A5: He's had his clothes for about 2 minutes.
A6: I mean, who really cares?
A7: The
batteries have run out.
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
Q: How do you make a blonde's eyes light up?
A: Shine a flashlight in their ear.
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
Q: Why do blondes wear shoulder pads?
A: (With a rocking of the head from side to side) I
dunno!
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
Q: How do you kill a blonde?
A:
Put spikes in their shoulder pads.
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
Q: How do blondes pierce their ears?
A: They put tacks in their shoulder pads.
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
Q: How does a blonde like her eggs?
A: Unfertilized.
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
Q: How do you drown a blond?
A1: Put a mirror at the bottom of the pool.
A2: Don't tell her to swallow.
A3: Leave a scratch and sniff at the
bottom of the pool.
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
Q: How do you tell if a blonde did your landscaping?
A: The bushes are darker than the rest of the yard.
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
Q: How does a blonde high-5?
A: She smacks herself in the forehead.
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
Q: How do you describe a blonde, surrounded by drooling idiots?
A: Flattered.
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
Q: What do you call a blonde with ESP and PMS?
A: A know-it-all bitch.
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
Q: What's the difference between a counterfeit dollar and a
skinny blonde?
A: One's a phony buck.
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
Q: What's the difference between a chorus line of blondes and a
magician?
A: A magician has a cunning array of
stunts.
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
Q: What is the best blonde secretary in the world to have?
A: One that never misses a period.
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
Q: What does a blonde think an innuendo is?
A: An Italian suppository.
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
Q: What is every blonde's ambition in life?
A: To be like Vanna White and learn the alphabet.
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a brick?
A: When you lay a brick it doesn't
follow you around for two weeks whining.
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
Q: What is foreplay for a blonde?
A: Thirty minutes of begging.
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a broom closet?
A: Only two men fit
inside a broom closet at once.
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a phone booth?
A1: You need a quarter to use the phone.
A2: Only one person can use the phone at once.
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
Q: What does the Bermuda Triangle and blondes have in common?
A: They've both swallowed
a lot of semen.
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
Q: What did the blonde say when she knocked over the priceless
Ming vase?
A: "It's OK
Daddy, I'm not hurt."
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
Q: How does a blonde commit suicide?
A: She gathers her clothes into a
pile and jumps off.
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
Q: How do you plant dope?
A: Bury a blonde.
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
Q: Why did god give blonds 2% more brains than horses?
A: Because he didn't want them
shitting in the streets during parades.
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
Q: How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree?
A: Wave to her.
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
Q: How does a blonde measure his/her IQ?
A: With a tire gauge! (da da
dum)
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
Q: How does the blond turn on the light after she has had sex?
A: She opens the car
door.
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
Q: How does a blonde get pregnant?
A: And I thought blondes were
dumb!
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
Q: How does a blonde part their hair?
A1: (Action of scissoring legs apart)
A2: By doing the splits.
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
Q: How do you get a blondes eyes to twinkle?
A: Shine a torch in her ears.
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
Q: How do you tell when a blonde reaches orgasm?
A1: She drops her nail-file!
A2: Who cares?
A3: She says, "Next".
A4: The next person in the queue taps you on the shoulder.
A5: He's had his clothes for about 2 minutes.
A6: I mean, who really cares?
A7: The batteries have run out.
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
Q: How do you make a blonde's eyes light up?
A: Shine a flashlight in their
ear.
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
Q: Why do blondes wear shoulder pads?
A: (With a rocking of the head from
side to side) I dunno!
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
Q: How do you kill a blonde?
A: Put spikes in their shoulder pads.
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
Q: How do blondes pierce their ears?
A: They put tacks in their shoulder
pads.
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
Q: How does a blonde like her eggs?
A: Unfertilized.
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
Q: How do you drown a blond?
A: Don't tell her to swallow.
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
Q: How do you tell if a blonde did your landscaping?
A: The bushes are darker than the
rest of the yard.
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
Q: How does a blonde high-5?
A: She smacks herself in the forehead.
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
Q: How do you describe a blonde, surrounded by drooling idiots?
A: Flattered.
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
Q: What do you call a blonde with ESP and PMS?
A: A know-it-all bitch.
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
Q: What's the difference between a counterfeit dollar and a
skinny blonde?
A: One's a phony
buck.
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
Q: What's the difference between a chorus line of blondes and a
magician?
A: A magician has
a cunning array of stunts.
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
Q: What is the best blonde secretary in the world to have?
A: One that never misses a
period.
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
Q: What does a blonde think an innuendo is?
A: An Italian suppository.
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
Q: Why wasn't the Virgin Mary a blonde ????
A: She wouldn't have been old enough to bear
children!
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
Q: Why are blondes hurt by peoples words?
A: Because people keep hitting them with
dictionaries.
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
Q: What did the blonde do when she got her period?
A: Looked around for the bastard that must have shot
her?
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
Q: Why are blondes like cornflakes ?
A: Because they're simple, easy and they taste good.
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
Q: Why can't blondes put in light bulbs?
A: They keep breaking them with the hammers.
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
Q: What is a cool refreshing drink for a blonde?
A: Perri-air
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Q: Did you hear about the blonde coyote?
A: Got stuck in a trap, chewed off three legs and was
still stuck.
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Q: When is it legal to shoot a blonde in the head?
A: When you have a tire pump to re-inflate it!
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