Southern Jokes


What happens when Southern people can't talk anymore?
They go through withdrawal.

What happens when you sing country music backwards?
You get your wife and job back.

How do you know that the toothbrush was invented by a southerner?
Anyone else would have called it a "teethbrush".

What's the difference between a Southern zoo and a Northern zoo?
A Southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage, along with a recipe.

What do two rednecks say after breaking up?
Lets just be cousins.

What happens when you piss off a southern woman?
You get your "belle" rung.

Did you see the reality show where southern women do charity work?
It's called "Saved by the Belle".

Why do folks from Tennessee go to the movie theater in groups of 18 or more?
17 and under are not admitted.

What do you call a goat on a mountain?
Hillbilly.

How do you find the perfect southern woman?
Make sure she comes with all the belles and whistles.

What do you call an European Orgy? A snowball
What do you call a Black Orgy? Mud Wrestling
What do you call a Southern Orgy? FAMILY REUNION!

What do you call an athletic southern woman?
The Belle of the Ball.

What do cow pies and cowgirls have in common?
The older they get the easier they are to pick up.

How do southerners spend the first week of the school year?
Studying the Miranda Rights.

Why did O.J. Simpson want to move the Kentucky?
Everyone there has the same DNA.

What do you call a 13 year old girl from Kentucky who can run faster than her six brothers?
A virgin.

Why do Yankees speak slowly to Southerners?
To give them time to catch up.

What do they call reruns of "Hee Haw" in Alabama?
Documentaries.

What's the difference between a redneck and poor white trash?
a redneck will knock his sister up; poor white trash will marry her.

Southerners don't need pickup lines cause they got pick up trucks.

You might be from the south if you diet mainly consists of Fried Chicken and Sweet Tea.

Have you seen the film about the tractor? Its really good. I have seen the trailor!

Bite To Eat
Two southerners stop in for a bite to eat, while discussing thier moonshine operation.
A woman at another table begins to cough.
Pretty soon she is choking.
One southerner says to her "Can yer breathe?"
She shakes her head..no.
He asks: "Can yer talk?"
She shakes her head..No.
He gets up,walks over to her,lifts up her dress,pulls down her panties and licks her on one butt cheek.
The woman is so shocked by this, she coughs up the food she had been chocking on.
The southerner slowly walks back to the table to join his partner.
The other southerner says "I done heard about that there HIND LICK manuver,but I've never seen it done."


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