Redneck Jokes

Why do rednecks like having sex doggie style?
That way they can both watch wrestling.

Q: What do you call a redneck bursting into flames?
A: A Fire Cracker!

What do rednecks call ductape?

What do two rednecks say after breaking up?
Lets just be cousins.

Q: What's the last thing you usually hear before a redneck dies?
A: Hey y'all.. Watch this!

Did you hear about the new 3 million dollar Tennessee State Lottery?
The winner gets 3 dollars a year for a million years.

How do you end a party in a trailer park?
Flush the punchbowl.

Q: Why did the Redneck highjack a plane and demand to be taken to Jeopardy
A: Because he was told that 1000 jobs were in Jeopardy.

Why do folks from Tennessee go to the movie theater in groups of 18 or more?   
17 and under are not admitted.

What do you call a goat on a mountain?

Where does a redneck live?

Why do rednecks join the army?
They get free food guns and ammo.

Why are redneck murder cases so hard to solve?
Because all the DNA matches and there is no dental records.

Why did O.J. Simpson want to move the Tennessee?  
Everyone there has the same DNA.

Why do ducks fly over trailer parks upside down?
There's nothing worth craping on!

Q: What does a redneck do when his dishwasher stops working?
A: Slap her on the ass and tell her to get back to work.

How can you tell if a redneck is married?
There is tobacco spit stains on both sides of his pickup truck.

Q: What Happens When Southern People Can't Talk Anymore?
A: They Go Through Withdrawal.

Q: What happens when you sing country music backwards?
A: You get your wife and job back.

Q: How do you know that the toothbrush was invented by a redneck?
A: Anyone else would have called it a "teethbrush".

What's the difference between Virginia and West Virginia?
In Virginia, Moosehead is a beer. In West Virginia it's a misdemeanor.

Q. Why do ducks fly over Arlington upside down?
A. There's nothing worth craping on!

Q: What are the only two seasons a Redneck can name?
A: Football and Construction.

Q: Why don't they allow rednecks into Sea World?
A: Because fishing poles are not allowed!

What do you call a redneck that is a wine connoisseur?
2 Buck Chuck.

What is a Redneck's defense in court?
"Honest your Honor, I was just helping the sheep over the fence."

What's the difference between Helen Keller and a redneck?
She got famous for not being able to read.

What do they call it in Kentucky?
"Life Styles of the Rich and Famous."

How many rednecks does it take eat a 'possum?
Two. One to eat, and one to watch for cars.

Why did God invent armadillos?
So that rednecks can have 'possum on the halfshell.

What can a pizza do that a redneck can't do?
Feed a family of 4

Q: Why didn't the possum cross the road?
A: Because in the trailer park he's the other white meat!

Q: What do you call 4 rednecks pushing a pickup truck?
A: White Power!

Q: How does an redneck get a girlfriend?
A: By responding to a message on the wall of a mens room at a truck stop!

Q: How do you casterate a Redneck?
A: Kick his sister in the mouth

Q: What's the difference between a Southern zoo and a Northern zoo?
A: A Southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage, along with a recipe.

Q. How did the redneck die from drinking milk?
A. The cow fell on him!

Q: Whats forty feet long and has only 14 teeth?
A: The front row at a Garth Brooks Concert.

Q: What should you do if you find three rednecks buried up to their neck in cement?
A: Get more cement.

Q: How do rednecks fish?
A: With dynamite

Q: What do you call a redneck swimming in the ocean?
A: A saltine cracker.

Q: What do rednecks and a bottle of beer have in common?
A: They're both empty from the neck up.

Q: Why do rednecks drive old pick up trucks?
A: So they can park in handicap spaces.

Q: What do cow pies and cowgirls have in common?
A: The older they get the easier they are to pick up.

Q: How do rednecks spend the first week of the school year?
A: Studying the Miranda Rights

Q: How do you get a redneck to suck your dick?
A: Put mayonnaise on it.

Q: What's white, a redneck, and twelve inches long?
A: Nothing.

Q: What do you call a 13 year old girl from Kentucky who can run faster than her six brothers?
A: A virgin.

Q: What's the difference between a redneck and poor white trash?
A: a redneck will knock his sister up; poor white trash will marry her.

Q: What do you get when you have 32 rednecks in the same room?
A: A full set of teeth....

Q: Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?
A: Ask a redneck!

What do you call an European Orgy? A snowball
What do you call a Black Orgy? Mud Wrestling
What do you call a Redneck Orgy? FAMILY REUNION!

How do you piss of a redneck?
Tell him you lost all his meth.

Have you seen the film about the tractor?
its really good. I have seen the trailor!

Rednecks don't need pickup lines cause they got pick up trucks.

Redneck sext message: you can't handle the tooth!

You might be a redneck if...Your blood alcohol content has ever exceeded your I.Q.

you might be a redneck, if you think lol means "low on liquor."

You might be a redneck if you have a home that's mobile and three cars that aren't!

You might be a redneck if Thanksgiving was ruined because you ran out of ketchup.

You might be a redneck if your daughter's Sweet 16 is sponsered by Budweiser.

You might be a redneck when you use a weed eater for a blender

You might be a redneck if burning lighter fluid is your favorite smell in the world!

You might be a redneck if you think the last words to the Star Spangled Banner are: "Play Ball"

You might be a redneck if your school hands out race tickets for perfect attendance.

You might be a redneck if more than one living relative is named after a Confederate Civil War general.

You might be a redneck if you own all the components of soap on a rope except the soap.

You might be a redneck if you owe the taxidermist more than your annual income.

You might be a redneck if you are still holding on to Confederate money because you think the South will rise again.

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