I forgot how to throw a boomerang but then it came back to me.
Did you hear about the guy who got a fidget spinner stuck on his dick?
Apparently he didn't read the directions.
Have you heard of the new divorced Barbie doll?
She comes with all of Ken's stuff!
What do you call a Thomas Train that eats toffee?
A chew, chew train.
What do you call an elf who can't find his toy?
How do you get a Pikachu onto a bus?
You poke 'em on!
Did you hear about the party a little boy had for his sisters barbie dolls?
It was a Barbie-Q.
Where did Spider-Man get his powers from?
The World Wide web.
What do you call it when Batman skips Church?
What do you call an award winning game about Los Angeles?
La La Candyland.
What is Supermans favorite part of the joke?
The "punch" line!
Why can you always find Zombie Pigmen at Subway?
Because they like to "Eat Flesh".
What did Winnie The Pooh say to his agent?
Show me the honey!
Why did Batman flush the toilet?
Because it was his duty!
What movie did Leonard Dicaprio film when he was young?
Etch-A-Sketch Me if You Can.
What do you call a comic book movie without any sidekicks?
Batman and Robinhood.
What Do Britney Spears and Barbie have in common?
They're both blonde, plastic and brainless!
What's the difference between playing Pokemon Go and going to Comic Con?
At Comic Con you can catch a real life pokemon.
I decided to ground my son by putting a padlock in his fidget spinner.
My favorite fidget spinner trick is disappointing my parents.
I remember when Barbie was the only girl made of plastic.
How long will it be, before people start naming their kids after Pokemon.
I heard the guy who created Minecraft is top-notch.
Batman doesn't make New Year's Resolutions. He ENFORCES them.
I like Legos, you like Legos, why don't we build a relationship?
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
Batman and Robin are camping in the desert, set up their tent and are asleep.
Some hours later, Batman wakes his faithful friend. "Robin, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."
Robin replies, " I see millions of stars."
"What does that tell you?" asks Batman.
Robin ponders for a minute.
"Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Chronologically, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you, Batman?"
"Robin, you idiot, someone has stolen our tent."