Minecraft Jokes

How does Steve stay in shape?
He runs around the BLOCK.

Why can you always find Zombie Pigmen at Subway?
Because they like to "Eat Flesh".

How do you become good at Minecraft?

Why does Stampy have a fence around his love garden?
Because people are DYING to get in.

What did Steve say to the Zombie?
Do you want a PIECE of me?

Did you hear about the Sheep who tried to eat a Cactus?
Accidents WOOL happen.

What do you call a Minecraft celebration?
A block party.

What did Steve say to Diamond block?
I dig you.

What is the difference between a killer rabbit and a counterfeit bill?
One is bad money and the other is a mad bunny!

Why did the zombie go on a date with Alex?
He wanted a woman with BRRAAAAAINS.

What do you call a Zombie Pigman that steals your sword and armor?
A HAMburglar.

Did you hear about the Minecraft movie?
It's going to be a BLOCKbuster.

Where are Ghasts and Zombie Pigmen from?
The Nether-lands.

How does Steve chop down a tree with his bare hands?
How WOOD I know?

Why did the Zombie eat the Skeleton?
He wanted his bone and marrow.

Where do you shear a sheep?
At the baa baa shop.

Did you hear they finally added portals to Minecraft PE?
Better late than nether.

Did you hear about the miner who died in the nether?
Apparently, he fell head over heels in lava.

Why couldn't the Zombie Pigman get out of lava?
Because he was a slow-pork.

What time do you see Zombies in Minecraft?
At ATE oclock.

What time is it when ten ocelots chase a creeper?
Ten After One.

What was Steve doing near a mob spawner?
Creeping warm.

Where can you sell all your Minecraft eggs?
At the spawn shop.

How did Grim stop a DanTDM video?
By pressing the paws button.

Why did Steve cry wolf?
Because he ate the three little pigs.

Did you hear the rumor about hostile mobs in the nether?
All they do is make lava.

Why did Steve need mouthwash after killing passive mobs?
Because he had bat breath.

How do you cure Hunger in Minecraft?
Three Square Meals.

Why couldn't the skeleton cross the road?
Because he didn't have the guts.

Why doesn't "Hit The Target" steal cats?
Because curiousity killed the cat burglar.

What do zombies and skeletons need in the morning?

How do you know Steve is interested in a girl?
He takes a look at her chest.

What did the skeleton say to the hostile wolf?
Bon Appetit

How does Steve measure his boot size?
In Square Feet.

Where do most hostile mobs come from?
North and South Scarolina.

What do you call a Minecraft boy band?
New Kids on the Block.

Did you know Taylor Swift once dated Steve from Minecraft?
She even wrote a song about him "We Are Never Ever Ever Going To The Nether."

Why did the hostile mob explode in the middle of a dance party?
He was just creeping it real.

What happens when you spawn a pile of kittens?
You get a meowntain.

Why did the store sell minecraft toys without arms and legs?
Because they were chinese rip-offs.

What�s an enderman�s favorite band?
Imagine Dragons!

Why can't you score against a basketball player who plays Minecraft?
Because they are always blocking.

Why can't creepers reproduce?
Because they explode during intercourse!

How do you stop a hostile mob from attacking you?
You block their path.

Knock Knock!
Who's There?
Ocelot who?
Noobs ask a lot of questions.

A creeper walks into a bar......Everybody dies.

Minecraft jokes are so square.

I heard the guy who created Minecraft is top-notch.

I want to tell you the story about how I beat Minecraft, but I'm worried it might Drag-on.

I told Steve that the world was round and he just laughed at me.

"If there's something strange in your Minecraft World. Who you gonna call? Ghastbusters!"

A skeleton killed me in Minecraft and now I'm back to square one.

A witch spawned inside my house and demanded broom service.

Teaching Steve to play basketball is like trying to fit a square peg in a round hole.

Minecon 2016: Be there AND be square.

My minecraft friends don't listen to country music, but they do know how to square dance.

I met this girl playing Minecraft and listening to Walk The Moon. I told her she was my destiny and she said "Shut up and Mine with Me".

I took my dogs to Stampys Fun Land and they had a howling good time!

I heard people who play Minecraft can't think outside the box.

Last night I went to a Creeper party, needless to say it was a blast.

I was going to write another joke about Minecraft, but all of a sudden I got writers BLOCK.

A creeper magician is on stage. He says, "For my next trick, I will turn this stage into rubble!" 2 seconds later, he blows up.

I don't like playing Minecraft with Kevin Costner, he just "Dances with Wolves".

When a wither boss tells a joke......it kills.

My ocelot was having trouble watching Youtube. Turns out she just had the video on paws.

Ocelots are like potato chips. You can never have just one.

Annoying Skeleton
An annoying skeleton was being chased by a wolf.
The wolf lost track of the skeleton and told Steve "I have a bone to pick with him."
Steve asked "Which one?"
The wolf then replied "I don't know he has so many."

Minecraft Pickup Lines

Are you made of Diamonds, because I'm digging you.

Do you have a Diamond Pickaxe? Because I'm as hard as Obsidian.

My Creeper gets excited when it sees how hot you look.

Hey girl do you play Minecraft? Because if you do I sure wanna play creative with you!

You must be from nether, because you are out of this world.

Everytime we meet, I feel like the Creeper in my pants is about to explode.

Are we playing Minecraft? Cause your like a pressure plate, turning me on.

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