Why didn't the dentist ask his secretary out?
He was already taking out a tooth.
What does a Boss and a diaper have in common?
They are always on your ass and always full of shit.
What do you call the fastest assistant in the world?
Husband: Why are you home so early?
Secretary: My boss told me to go to hell.
What do you call a South American secretary who is always in a hurry?
Why did the secretary break up with the internet?
There was no "Connection".
What's the difference between a "great" secretary and a "personal" secretary?
A good secretary says "Good Morning, Boss" and a personal secretary says "It's morning, Boss".
Boss: Times on the company are hard and you and Jack are great Employees. But I am going to have either Lay you or Jack off.
Secretary: You're going to have to jack off because I have a headache.
A female secretary was helping her new boss set up his computer and asked him what word he would like to use as a password to log in with.
Wanting to embarrass his new secretary a bit and let her know where they stood, he smugly told her to enter 'dick.'
Without blinking or saying a word, she entered the password. She then almost died laughing at the computer's response:
PASSWORD REJECTED. NOT LONG ENOUGH!
Good First Impression
A young doctor was just setting up his first office when his secretary told him there was a man to see him. The doctor wanted to make a good first impression by having the man think he was successful and very busy. He told his secretary to show the man in.
At that moment, the doctor picked up the telephone and pretended to be having a conversation with a patient. The man waited until the "conversation" was over. Then, the doctor put the telephone down and asked, "Can I help you?"
To which the man replied, "No, I'm just here to connect your telephone."
A guy calls the secretary and says "When does the office open?"
And the secretary says "At nine o'clock and why are you calling me at midnight to get in?"
The guy says "I don't want to get in I want to get out."