Pokemon Jokes


My girlfriend was about to catch a rare pokemon, but decided to take azelf-ie.

I asked my dad why a grown man would play Pokemon Go?
He said "Wynaut"

What's the difference between playing Pokemon Go and going to Comic Con?
At Comic Con you can catch a real life pokemon.

How do you get a Bulbasaur on a bus?
You poke 'em on!

Where can you find a horsea?
At Old Neigh-vy.

Why did the Miltank cross the road?
To get to the udder side.

What do wailords eat?
Fish and ships.

Did you hear about the Pokemon who ruled Egypt?
He was a Fearow (Pharoah).

How do you hit on a cute girl playing Pokemon Go?
Tell her "I'd like to Pikachu when you're naked!"

Where do you find a scary pokemon?
At the Gastly Station.

What does a yellow pokemon say before teleporting?
Abra-cadabra.

Why did the wailord cross the road?
To get to the other tide!

Why do you never bring a pokemon in the shower?
Because he will pikachu.

What happens when you talk to a Miltank?
It goes in one ear and out the udder!

What do you get when you cross an Abra and a 3D printer?
Teleportation.

What do you call a Pikachu that sings and dances at a kids birthday?
The Hokey Pokemon

Where can you find a pokemon in a sushi restaurant?
In a dragonite roll.

How can you tell a pokemon likes baseball?
Every night he turns into a gol-bat.

What's a pokemons favorite movie?
The Charizard of Oz.

What does a wartortle do on it's birthday?
It shellebrates!

Did you hear about the secret agent Miltank?
He was udder cover.

How long will it be, before people start naming their kids after Pokemon.

Chuck Norris won the World Series of Poker using Pokemon cards.

YOLO! (You Obviously Like Omanytes)

Donald Trump vows to put an end to the war in Pokemon and free the Pikachu refugees once and for all.

Good girls don't show boys their Jigglypuffs.

When my Wailord twerks it becomes a wrecking ball.

Are you a horsea? Yay or neigh?

Groudon is red, Kyogre is blue, if you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you.

My Wailord is so big it turned my iPhone into a iPad Pro.

If I was an Abra and I had the power to teleport that would solve 90% of my problems.

Chuck Noris caught all 150 pokemon in 2.7 seconds.

"Nintendo has just launched a new Pokemon game on mobile phones. You go around town and depending on your geographic location and landscape you get certain pokemon. Apparently, after you've maxed out your credit cards, you will catch them all."


Charmander is red,
Squirtle is blue.
If you were a Pokemon,
I'd choose you.
Your smile is shiny
Like a Hyperbeam.
Like Jesse and James,
We'd make a great team.
I'll stay by your side like
Misty and Ash,
My love for you burns like
A fast Rapidash.
You're more legendary than
Entei of Mew

But out of a million, I choose you.

Four Nerds
Four nerds were sitting down in a room talking about sports.
One nerd says to the other "Hey, do you know what taekwondo is?"
the other replied, "nope, never heard of that Pokemon".....

Pokemon Pick Up Lines

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