Hairdresser Jokes

How did the hairdresser win the race?
She took a short cut.

What do you call a good hair stylist?
A shear delight.

Dear Disney, why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Hairdressers do it standing up.

If you cheat on your hairdresser and get messed up don't come crawling back asking her to fix it.

Men who wear these big thick beards with scraped back hair? Is it Fashion or is Ireland up to something again?

If your hair is done properly and your wearing the right shoes....
You can get away with anything.

Rule #1: The Hairdresser is always right!
Rule #2: If there is any doubt, please refer to Rule #1.

Rome Trip
A woman was getting a haircut prior to a trip to Rome. She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser who responded, "Rome? Why would anyone want to go there?
It's crowded & dirty and full of Italians. You're crazy to go to Rome.
So, how are you getting there?"

"We're taking Delta," was the reply. "We got a great rate!"
"Delta?" exclaimed the hairdresser. "That's a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they're always late. So, where are you staying in Rome?"

"We'll be at the downtown International Marriott."
"That dump! That's the worst hotel in the city. The rooms are small, the service is slow and they're overpriced. So, whatcha doing when you get there?"

"We're going to go to see the Vatican and we hope to see the Pope."
"That's rich," laughed the hairdresser. "You and a million other people trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You're going to need it."

A month later, the woman again came in for her regular haircut. The hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome. "It was wonderful," explained the woman, "not only were we on time in one of Delta's brand new planes, but it was overbooked and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a beautiful 28 year old steward who waited on me hand and foot. And the hotel-it was great! They'd just finished a $25 million remodeling job and now it's the finest hotel in the city.
They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us the presidential suite at no extra charge!"

"Well," muttered the hairdresser, "I know you didn't get to see the pope."

"Actually, we were quite lucky, for as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder and explained that the pope likes to personally meet some of the visitors, and if I'd be so kind as to step into his private room and wait the pope would personally greet me.

Sure enough, five minutes later the pope walked through the door and shook my hand! I knelt down as he spoke a few words to me."
"Really?" asked the hairdresser. "What'd he say?"

He said, "Where'd you get the terrible haircut?

Ditzy Young Woman
Young gal with flash and glitz and really large Bose head-phones on, walks into hair salon. "Do you take walk-ins?"
Hair-dresser, "Sure come on and have a seat in my chair. What did you need, today?"
Glitzy Gal, "Could you just trim the split ends?"
Hair-dresser, "No problem, just put your headphones on the counter and I'll get started."
Gal, "OH NO I cannot take them off or I'll die!"
Hair-dresser, "Ok, but I can't get all of your hair cut."
Little while later, hair-dresser sees her customer has apparently fallen asleep so she removes the headphones and continues to cut the gal's hair.
Suddenly the customer slumps down in chair and slides to the floor!
The hair- dresser rushes to the customer and checks and there is no pulse!
Not sure what to do, she picks up headphones and puts them on.
She hears "Breath In, Breath Out!"
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