Engineer One Liners Jokes


What's the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?
Mechanical engineers build weapons.
Civil engineers build targets.

What is the biggest paradox for an engineering student?
That the girls with the most aerodynamic curves are the ones with the greatest resistance.

Q: How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. They are all too busy trying to design the perfect light bulb.

Q: How many consulting engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One, but it will cost $50.

What do you call a robot you buy?
A robought

Why doesn't hamilton ever order dessert at a restaraunt?
Because he doesn't tolerate second order.

A Psychologist asks an Engineer: How do you see this glass, half full or half empty?
What I see is that it is twice as big as necessary....

Why did a centrifugal pump engineer and his wife get a divorce?
Because when she asked him why he was so late from work one day he responded with, "I was getting head.

Engineers aren't boring people. We just get excited over boring things.

Hey baby I'm an engineer. I can mend your broken heart

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