Where do math teachers go on vacation?
To Times Square.
Where do crayons go on vacation?
Where do bees go on holiday?
Where does a cow stay when it is on vacation?
Where do pepperonis go on vacation?
The Leaning Tower of Pizza.
What's a Japanese girl's favorite holiday?
Why did the pirate go on vacation?
He needed some AARRRRGGH and AARRRRGGH!
Where do sheep go on vacation?
To the baaaaaahamas.
What Holiday does a Jewish car celebrate?
What's the opposite of a dirty destination?
A clean getaway.
What do goblins mail their friends while on vacation?
Where do sharks go on holiday?
Where do eggs go on holiday?
New Yolk City.
Why didn't Mr. Krabs invite Spongebob to go on a vacation? Because he's Shellfish.
Why don't mummies go on vacation?
Because they are afraid to relax and unwind.
Where do the pianists go for vacation?
In A Hurry
A woman and her husband interrupted their vacation to go to the dentist.
"I want a tooth pulled, and I don't want Novacaine because I'm in a big hurry," the woman said. "Just extract the tooth as quickly as possible, and we'll be on our way."
The dentist was quite impressed. "You're certainly a courageous woman," he said. "Which tooth is it?"
The woman turned to her husband and said, "Show him your tooth, dear."
"A Korean man walked into the currency exchange in New York City with 200,000 Korean won and walked out with $200.
The following week, he walked in with another 200,000 Korean won, and was handed $185.
He asked the teller why he got less money that week than the previous week.
The teller said, "Fluctuations."
The Korean man stormed out, and just before slamming the door, turned around and shouted, "Fluc you Amelicans, too!""
Summer vacation was over and Little Johnny returned back to school.
Only two days later his teacher phoned his mother to tell her that he was misbehaving.
"Wait just a minute," she said. "I had Johnny with me for three months and I never called you once when he misbehaved!; couldn't you show me the same courtesy?"
A young couple are about to go on a holiday. The guy is waiting for his blonde girlfriend at the airport, when she arrives carrying a door.
BF: "What are you carrying?!"
GF: "You know how burglars break down the front door to get into houses?"
GF: "Well, if I take my front door with me, then burglars can't break the door down, which means they can't get in and take anything."
BF: "Ok then. What are you going to do if you lose the door, or if the door breaks?"
GF: "I thought of that. I left one of the side windows open so I can get in through there."