Back to: Holiday Jokes
Q: Who profits the most on Black Friday?
A: The one who was smart enough not to go shopping on that day.
Q: What flies faster than items off the rack on Black Friday?
A: Credit card payment slips!
Q: Which family usually spends the most on Black Friday?
A: The one who earns the least.
Q: What do people eat on Black Friday?
A: Whatever they couldn't finish on Thanksgiving Thursday.
Q: Why do Americans go shopping on Black Friday?
A: They are thankful they survived Thanksgiving's feast.
Q: Why do they call the day after Thanksgiving "Black Friday"?
A: It matches the mood of all those unhappy bloated shoppers.
Q: Why do shoppers feel like cranberry juice on Black Friday?
A: They get bruised and battered bloody by other people until they get squeezed at the cashier.
Q: Why did Obama's family go shopping on Black Friday?
A: What better way is there to spread some of that Stimulus Money?!
Q: What do Black Friday shoppers and the Thanksgiving turkey have in common?
A: They know what it's like to be jammed into a small place and stuffed!
Lonely Steve
It's Black Friday and mall is packed with shoppers and Steve can't find his wife.
Steve goes up to a very attractive woman and says 'Excuse me, can you help me? I cannot see my wife, and I know that she is here in the shopping mall somewhere. Can you just talk to me for a couple of minutes?"
The attrative woman replies "Why?"
Steve replies "Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman, my wife materialises out of thin air."
Sorority Sisters
Two Cappa sorority sisters were shopping on Black Friday and run into each other.
When they started to discuss their home lives, one said,
"Seems like all Mike and I do anymore is fight. I've been so upset I've lost 20 pounds."
"Why don't you just leave him then?" asked her sorority sister.
"Oh! Not yet." the first replied, "I'd like to lose at least another fifteen pounds first."
Small Business
A small business owner was dismayed when a brand new corporate chain much like his own opened up next door and erected a huge sign which read BEST BLACK FRIDAY DEALS.
He was horrified when another competitor opened up on his right, and announced its arrival with an even larger sign, reading LOWEST BLACK FRIDAY PRICES.
The small business owner panicked, until he got an idea. He put the biggest sign of all over his own shop-it read... MAIN ENTRANCE.
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