Spy Jokes

What kind of shoes do all spies wear?

What do you call an alligator in a vest?
An Investigator

Why did the book join the police?
He wanted to go undercover!

What deodorant was put undercover?
Old SPY-ce.

What do you call it when one bull spies on another bull?
A steak-out!

Have you seen the Spy thriller about fat people?
It's called "Tomorrow Never Diets"

What is it when one butcher spies on another butcher?
A steak out.

What do you call an under cover tarantula?
A spy-der

What do you call a frog spy?
A croak and dagger agent!

What do you call a school where all the students are undercover?
Spy High.

What is a snowman's favorite game?
Ice Spy with my little eye...

What does a secret agent use for birth control?
His personality.

Why was the special agent sleeping on the job?
He was under cover.

Why can't you trust baked goods during the holidays?
It might be a minced spy.

Yo mama so awkward and clumsy she makes Napoleon Dynamite look like James Bond.

Police Stake Out

From the state where drunk driving is considered a sport, comes this absolutely true story.

Recently undercover police officers were staked outside a bar that was having a rash of incidents in Fort Worth, Texas. After last call a officer noticed a man leaving the bar so intoxicated that he could barely walk. The man stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing. After what seemed an eternity in which he tried his keys on five different vehicles, the man managed to find his truck and trailer and fall into it. He sat there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar and drove off.

Finally, he got into the car and started the engine, switched the wipers on and off....it was a fine, dry summer night, flicked the blinkers on and off a couple of times, honked the horn and then switched on the lights. He moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little and then remained still for a few more minutes as some more of the other patrons' vehicles left. Finally, when his was the only car left in the parking lot, he pulled out and drove slowly down the road.

The police officer, having waited patiently all this time, now started up his patrol car, put on the flashing lights, promptly pulled the man over and administered a breathalyzer test. To his amazement, the breathalyzer indicated no evidence that the man had consumed any alcohol at all! Dumbfounded, the officer said, 'I'll have to ask you to accompany me to the police station. This breathalyzer equipment must be broken.' 'I seriously doubt it', said the truly proud Hillbilly. 'Tonight I'm the designated decoy.'

Police Jokes

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