Hat Jokes

What did the bra say to the hat?
You go on ahead while I give these two a lift.

What do you call a person who refuses to go outside without a hat?
A hat head (hot head).

What do you call a Jewish kid in a hat?

What was the Cat in the Hat looking for in the toilet?
For thing one and thing two.

What does a chinese guy in a hat order at Starbucks?

What did the tie say to the hat?
You go on ahead and I'll hang around.

Where do crazy hat ladies live?

Why does a pilgrim's pants always fall down?
Because they wear their belt buckle on their hat.

What do you call Tyrannosaurus rex when it wears a cowboy hat and boots?
Tyrannosaurus tex!

What do you call a lion wearing a stylish hat?
A dandy lion.

Did you hear about the perverted magician?
He pulled his top hat out of a Bunny.

Where do frogs leave their hats and coats?
In the croakroom!

What do you call a can wearing a Christmas hat?
A Merry Can (American)

What did the big furry hat say to the warm woolly scarf?
"You hang around while I go on ahead."

If I were a sorting hat, I'd put you in my house!

Yo momma's so fat the sorting hat put her in all of the houses.

Cindy Crawford
A young single guy finds himself stranded on a deserted island. As he washes ashore, he sees a woman passed out in the sand. Able to perform CPR on her, he saves her life.
Suddenly, he realizes that the woman is Cindy Crawford. Immediately, Cindy falls in love with the man.
Days and weeks go by, and they're making passionate love morning, noon and night. True Heaven on earth in the man's eyes.
Alas, one day she notices he's looking kind of glum. "What's the matter, sweetheart?" she asks. "We have a wonderful life together and I'm in love with you. Is there something wrong? Is there anything I can do?"
He says, "Actually, Cindy, there is. Would you mind, putting on my shirt and pants?"
"Sure," she says," if it'll help." He takes off his shirt and pants and she puts it on.
"Okay, would you put on my hat now, and draw a little mustache on your face?" he asks.
"Whatever you want, sweetie," she says, and does so.
Then he says, "Now, would you start walking around the edge of the island?"
She starts walking around the perimeter of the island. He sets off in the other direction. They meet up half way around the island a few minutes later.
He rushes up to her, grabs her by the shoulders, and says, "Dude! You'll never believe who I'm sleeping with!"

Joke Generators: