Deadpool Jokes

Joker's car is alright, but I'd rather ride his Harley.

How do you know that Harley Quinn is riding a bicycle?
She takes the Psycho Path.

What did Harley Quinn say to Spider Man?
"Don't bug me."

What's the difference between Harley Quinn and a unicorn?
Nothing, they're both fictional characters

What does Harley Quinn order at a Mexican Restaurant?
A basket queso.

Why can't you hear Harley Quinn using the bathroom?
Because she's a psycho and the p is silent.

What is Harley Quinn's favorite part of a joke?
The "Punch" line.

Hey I just met you , and girl you look crazy.
What brands your makeup? Crayola maybe.

My girlfriend and her friends all want to look like Harley Quinn.
Apparently they have Suicide Squad Goals.

Superman was feeling bored after a long break of crime fighting & wanted to go out & party so he called Batman to ask if he wanted to go to a club & pick up some girls.

Batman said Robin was ill & he had to look after him.

A little disappointed, Superman called the Joker to see if wanted to grab a couple of beers. Joker told him he had a date with Harley Quinn.

As a last resort, Superman flew over to Wonder woman's apartment to see If she was free.

As he landed on her balcony, he saw Wonder Woman naked on the bed with her legs open.

Superman thought to himself "I'm faster than a speeding bullet, I could be in there, have sex & out again before she knew what was happening."

So Superman did his super thing in a split second & flies off happily.

Meanwhile on the bed, Wonder woman said "Did you hear anything?"

"NO"! said the Invisible Man, "But my ass hurts like hell!"

Four Corners
There is a big room with four corners.
In the first corner, you find Spider-man.
In the second corner you find Batman.
In the third corner you find Harley Quinn.
And in the fourth corner you find an extremely intelligent, 100% natural blonde woman with an amazing ultra-thin magazine-model figure.
In the center of the room there is a pot of gold.
Q: Who gets to the pot of gold first?

A: None, because none of these characters exist.

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