Deadpool Jokes

Q: What did Deadpool say to Spider Man?
A: "Don't bug me."

Q: Where does Deadpool want to eat dinner?
A: The LIVING room.

Q: What does Wade Wilson need to fight crime?
A: DEADication.

Q: What's the difference between Deadpool and a unicorn?
A: Nothing, they're both fictional characters

Q: Why did Deadpool flush the toilet?
A: Because it was his duty!

Q: What is Wade Wilson's favorite football team?
A: The Washington DEADskins!

Q: What is Deadpool's favorite part of a joke?
A: The "Punch" line.

Q: What does Deadpool put in his beverages?
A: Just ice.

I heard people who like Ryan Reynolds are dead inside.

Superman was feeling bored after a long break of crime fighting & wanted to go out & party so he called Batman to ask if he wanted to go to a club & pick up some girls.

Batman said Robin was ill & he had to look after him.

A little disappointed, Superman called Deadpool to see if wanted to grab a couple of beers. Deadpool told him he had a date with Vanessa.

As a last resort, Superman flew over to Wonder woman's apartment to see If she was free.

As he landed on her balcony, he saw Wonder Woman naked on the bed with her legs open.

Superman thought to himself "I'm faster than a speeding bullet, I could be in there, have sex & out again before she knew what was happening."

So Superman did his super thing in a split second & flies off happily.

Meanwhile on the bed, Wonder woman said "Did you hear anything?"

"NO"! said the Invisible Man, "But my ass hurts like hell!"

Four Corners
There is a big room with four corners.
In the first corner, you find Spider-man.
In the second corner you find Batman.
In the third corner you find Deadpool.
And in the fourth corner you find an extremely intelligent, 100% natural blonde woman with an amazing ultra-thin magazine-model figure.
In the center of the room there is a pot of gold.
Q: Who gets to the pot of gold first?

A: None, because none of these characters exist.

Joke Generators: