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Facebook Short Jokes
Q: Why is a survey, proving Facebook users have lower grades than non-users pointless?
A: Because Facebook users tell everyone how stupid they are with their status updates on a daily basis!
Q: In addition to the social networking site Facebook where else can you find Mafia members?
A: "Controlling all the trash hauling in Second Life"
Q: Why is Facebook a great site for loners?
A: Because it's the only place where they can talk to a wall and not be considered an loser!
Q: What happened after three Duke football players were kicked off the team for gun possession?
A: Gilbert Arenas sent them Facebook friend requests!
Q: What happened when Dick Cheney tried to reach a younger demographic?
A: He shot Facebook in the face, while hunting for Twitter.
Come to Myspace and Twitter my Yahoo
Til' I Google all over your Facebook.
Q: When FaceBook, MySpace and Twitter merge into one super social networking company what will it be called?
A: They will call it "My Twit Face."
Q: How ugly was my ex-girlfriend/boyfriend?
A: So ugly that Facebook banned her/his profile pic and sent her back to Myspace!
Q: What happened after hackers shut down Twitter for a day?
A: Twitterers were relegated to communicating the old fashioned way, through Facebook!
Q: If Facebook is a loft in the city and Myspace is a house in the suburbs, what is Twitter?
A: A trailer park!
Q: What did the twitterer say before committing suicide?
A: My Facebook can remarry!
Q: Why did Atlanta Falcons lineman Quinn Ojinnaka post bail after getting into an altercation with his wife over facebook activity?
A: Because he was afraid of going to jail and really being poked!
Q: Why shouldn't you pay for a Classmates.com membership?
A: Because Myspace and Facebook are free!
Q: How do you know if your Fortune 500 CEO is a pedophile?
A: He has a facebook account!
Q: What happened after Miss New Jersey, Amy Polumbo, lost her crown due to racy pics being leaked from her Facebook Account?
A: Amy Polumbo received a million friend requests!
Q: How did the gringo get the hispanic day laborer pregnant?
A: By sending her a friend request on Facebook!
Q: Why did John Connor lead the resistance against the machines?
A: Skynet refused to give John a Facebook friend request!
You know you're addicted to Facebook If
You check your facebook account more then one time every hour
You visit sites that list reasons about being addicted to facebook.
Your profile has so man applications that it takes several minutes to load
Your long distance boyfriend broke up with you by posting a comment on your facebook page.
Your dreams involve people writing messages on your wall
You're one of the few people who actually use facebook chat
Your relationship status is only official if its been updated on facebook
You tag photos immediately after taking them with your camera phone
You have several facebook friends that you've never actually met in person
Before you accept a job you have to find out about their Facebook policies!
People don�t invite you out without facebooking you about it first.
You tell more (....force) people to join facebook.
The world "poke" is no longer considered something physical to you
You like to receive meaningless gift icons and you like sending meaningless gift icons in return
You've already checked your Facebook account three times before finishing this list!
You join a new facebook group on a daily basis
Funny Facebook Status Quotes:
This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, 30 dog, seconds dog! ... Now read without the word dog.
Me and the gummy bears have a plot to rule the world but shhhhh its a secret.
Remember when someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown BUT it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and bi**h slap the f**ker!!
Thinks Women are magic creatures: they get wet without water, bleed without being injured, give milk without eating grass, & can make boneless meat ROCK HARD!
Got a new job with the local hostage negotiators and tried to phone in sick but the bastards talked me out of it.
Boy sees his mum and dad having sex! Dad says "were making you a brother" Boy replies " do her doggy style i rather have a puppy".
Today, I saw a commercial for the Snuggie. I thought it was stupid idea, but I couldn�t change the channel because I was under a blanket and I didn�t want my arms to get cold�
I am so ecstatic but why is nothing sticking to me?
Why is the jeopardy theme song stuck in my head? It is giving me a false sense of anxiety.
The older I grow the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom.
I am making it my job to put the "fun" back into "funeral."
I just watched the first part of the Godfather for his "Family Business Management" class.
What do you say when an atheist sneezes?
John is such a thrillseeker, when I see a �Caution, Wet Floor� sign, I walk faster
Vaughn says, always take two Baptists fishing. If you take only one, he�ll drink all your beer.
Lisa puts the pro in procrastinate
scratch here �������������� to reveal today�s status.
Political Party Decoder: Democrat: Peace. Love. Butterflies. Republican: Money. God. Money. Libertarian: Too much of a miser to be a democrat, not racist enough to be a republican. Green: Like a democrat, but smokes more pot. Independent: Too dumb to figure out what side they belong on.
Dear 60-year-old women on the beach--I am quite aware that you, just like everyone else in the world, have a butt. You may now proceed to the gift shop and buy a larger bikini, for chrissakes.
Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
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