Tattoo Jokes
Have you seen the movie about the temporary tat?
It's called "The Girl With The Rub On Tattoo."
Did you hear about the guy with the misspelled tattoo?
He says he has "No regerts".
Husband gets "I love You" tattooed on his penis. He goes home to show his wife.
His wife says, "There you go again, trying to put words in my mouth".
Rule #1: The Tattoo Artist is always right!
Rule #2: If there is any doubt, please refer to Rule #1.
Yo mama so fat I asked her about the "M.O.B." tattoo on her arm. "Money over bitches?"
She said "No, McDonalds over Burger King."
What kind of ink do politicans get?
Aristotats.
What kind of tattoo tells you the temperature?
A Thermos-tat.
When you get a tattoo, there are good news and bad news. The bad news is you will feel a little prick. The good news is it isn't mine.
I look at husbands the same way I look at tattoos. I want one but I can t decide what I want and I don t want to be stuck with one I m just going to grow to hate and have to have surgically removed later.
Tattoo Artists do it standing up.
A relationship isn't official until the ink dries.
Do people in Japan get tattoos of English words?
National Tattoo Day is celebrated annually on July 17th.
Soccer Mom
A soccer mom walked into a tattoo parlor and asked for 2 tattoos. She wanted a christmas tree on her left thigh and a turkey on the right thigh.
When they were done the artist asked why she wanted these tattoos.
She replied " My husband always complains that theres nothing to eat between Thanksgiving and Christmas."
Family Dinners
A college student comes home during winter break and his mom notices her sons new tattoo.
She says "Son, you got a very nice hippopotamus tattoo on your arm."
He replies "Mom, it's my girlfriend!"
Ditzy Young Woman
Young gal with flash and glitz and really large Bose head-phones on, walks into a tattoo parlor. "Do you take walk-ins?"
Tattooist, "Sure come on and have a seat in my chair. What did you need, today?"
Glitzy Gal, "Could you just give me a small red rose on my neck?"
Tattoo Artist, "No problem, just put your headphones on the counter and I'll get started."
Gal, "OH NO I cannot take them off or I'll die!"
Tattoo Artist, "Ok, but I'll have to charge you extra for the inconvenience."
Little while later, the tattoo artist sees his client has apparently fallen asleep so he removes the headphones and continues to work on the girls tattoo.
Suddenly the girl slumps down in chair and slides to the floor!
The tattooist rushes to the client and checks and there is no pulse!
Not sure what to do, he picks up headphones and puts them on.
He hears "Breath In, Breath Out!"