What do you call a company that is run by a kid?
Baby on Board of Directors.
Why did the Enron employee think he saw a ghost on Halloween?
A kid dressed up as a 401 (K)
What did the cat say when he lost all his money?
What do you call an investment that profits off of shareholder activism?
The "Feeling is Mutual Fund".
What do stockbrokers say to each other when they want the other person to shut up?
Put a stock in it!
How did Bernie Madoff get the idea for a ponzi scheme (where you use the money of new investors to pay off the older investors.)
How do you know when the stock market is volatile & unstable?
The morning bell is rung by Britney Spears!
What do you get when you put THE money you've earned and IRS together?
How do you make a million dollars trading penny stocks?
Start with 2 million.
Where do seagulls invest their money?
In the stork market!
Where does a fish keep his money
In the River Bank!
Why did Bank Of America want to return all the government bailout money ASAP?
Because they were upset at all the hidden fees!
How bad is the economy?
Vice President Cheney took his stockbroker hunting!
It was so cold today I saw a stockbroker with his hands in his own pockets.
A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, "At my age, I don't even buy green bananas." Claude Pepper
Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.
Whoever said money can't buy happiness, simply didn't know where to shop.