The annual breast exam is conducted at Hooter's. Directions to the doctor's office include "Take a left when you enter the trailer park." The tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudgesicles. The only proctologist lists his address as Roto-rooter. The Lone Star Bar and Grill is an approved pharmacy. Your primary care physician is wearing the pants you gave to Goodwill. Preventive Care Coverage includes 'an apple a day.' Your Prozac comes in colors and has little M's on each pill. The only 100% covered expense is embalming. Your Viagra prescription includes a popsicle stick and some duct tape.