Plumber Jokes


Q: Why shouldn't you play poker with a plumber?
A: A good flush beats a full house every time.

Q: What do Doctors and Plumbers have in common?
A: They both bury their mistakes.

Q: How many plumbers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A:One to get the beer and one to call the electrician.

Q: What's the main difference between an electrician and a plumber?
A: An electrician washes his hands AFTER he has gone potty, but a plumber washes his hands BEFORE he goes potty.

Q: What is the definition of disgusting?
A: Seeing a plumber bite his nails.

Q: Why do all men want to be plumbers?
A: Because all they think about is layin dat pipe.

Q: What do you call a person who picks plums?
A: A plumber!

Don't be racist, be like Mario. He's an Italian plumber, created by Japanese people, who speaks English, and looks like a Mexican

Don't you hate it when you call a plumber and all he does is eat mushrooms and kill your turtles?

Plumbing is the only profession where you'll hear your boss say, "Be sure your 'joints' have lots of 'Dope' in them!"

"Your crap is my family's bread & butter."

On a Plumbers truck:
"We repair what your husband fixed."

"A plumber is the only guy I know who can take a leak....and fix it too!"

'Every time you flush your toilet you're putting food in my family's mouth'."

Leaking Pipe
A plumber was called to woman's apartment in Chicago to repair a leaking pipe. When he arrived he was pleased to discover that the woman had curves in all the right places and was quite attractive.

During the course of the afternoon, the two became extremely well acquainted. About 5:30 p.m. the phone rang, disturbing the bedroom shenanigans.

"That was my husband," she said, putting down the phone. "He's on his way home, but is going back to the office around 8 p.m.. Come back then, dear, and we can take up where we left off."

The union plumber looked at the woman in disbelief. "What? On my own time?"

Teamsters Convention
Three Plumbers and three Electricians are about to board a train to a Teamsters convention. The Electricians notice that the Plumbers bought only one ticket between them.

The Electricians ask the Plumbers how they plan on getting to the convention.

"Watch and learn," one of the Plumbers tells them.

As soon as the train leaves the station, the three plumbers rush from their seats and all squeeze into one restroom. When the conductor comes through the car he knocks on the restroom door and says "ticket please!" The door opens a crack and the one ticket is handed to the conductor.

The electricians are impressed, and decide that's what they will do on the trip back. Then on the return trip, the electricians notice that the plumbers haven't bought any tickets. "How do you plan on getting home without any tickets?" they ask.

"Watch and learn," one of the Plumbers tells them.

As soon as the train leaves the station, the three electricians hurry for the restroom. A few moments later, one of the plumbers gets up from his seat, knocks on the restroom door and says, "ticket please!"

Leaky Faucet
A plumber was called to a doctors home to fix leaking faucet that had kept the surgeon awake late at night. After a two-minute job the plumber demanded $150.

The surgeon exclaimed, 'I don't charge this amount even though I am a surgeon."

The plumber replied, "I agree, you are right. I too, didn't either, when I was a surgeon. That's why I switched to plumbing!"

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