Photographer Jokes


Did you hear about how the photographer died?
It makes me shutter.

Where does a cow hang his photos?
In a mooooseum.

A woman shot her husband, drowned him, and hung him. Then,they eat dinner. HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE?
Answer: She was taking a photo of her husband. She shot it, developed it, and hung it to dry.

Two girls: "A tray of sushi, please."
Waiter: "To eat or to post photos of on Instagram?

What do you call a mixed media artist without a girlfriend?
Homeless.

Why shouldn't you steal from someone holding a camera?
Because they have a photographic memory.

What kind of photos does a turtle take?
Shellfies.

What happened to the fastest camera in the world?
It BURST into flames.

Did you hear about the guy who stole all those photos?
I think he was framed.

Why did the photographer get into an argument with the curator at the art gallery?
He wasn't in the right frame of mind.

What do you call a photo taken by a cat?
A paw-trait.

Did you hear that the Post Office has just recalled their latest stamps?
Well, they had photos of politicians on them and people couldn't figure out which side to spit on.

What did snow white say when her photos weren't ready yet?
Some Day My Prints Will come!

What's the difference between the Denver Broncos and the Kansas City Chiefs?
The last Broncos Super Bowl team picture isn't in black and white.

What does a pirate steal in his spare time?
Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrt.

Why was the photo arrested?
Because it was framed.

What do you call someone hanging on a wall?
Art.

If a picture is worth a thousands words, then why shouldn't we judge a book by its cover?

I was drunk when I had my drivers license picture taken. That way, when the police pulls me over, I don't have to worry.

The Earth without art is just Eh.

A photographer told me his camera didn't have continuous high speed mode and I almost burst out laughing.

Teach your kids about photography and they will never have enough money to buy drugs.

The fastest way to make money from photography is to sell your camera.

Photographers have been known to flash people.

Nature Photography day is observed annually on June 15th. It was formed in 2009 by NANPA (North American Nature Photography Association).

Two Blondes
Two blonde women that were best friends decided to go shopping together.
They saw a photographer at the mall and decided to have their picture taken together.
The photographer sat them down and said he had to focus his camera.
One of the ladies said, "What did he say he had to do?"
The other lady said, "He said he had to focus. (f*%k us)"
Her friend then said, "Both of us?"

Nude Picture
On their first night together, a newlywed couple go to change. The new bride comes out of the bathroom showered and wearing a beautiful robe. The proud husband says, "My dear, we are married now, you can open your robe." The beautiful young woman opens her robe, and he is astonished."Oh, oh, aaaahhh," he exclaims, "My God you are so beautiful, let me take your picture. Puzzled she asks, "My picture?" He answers, "Yes my dear, so I can carry your beauty next to my heart forever".

She smiles and he takes her picture, and then he heads into the bathroom to shower. He comes out wearing his robe and the new wife asks, "Why do you wear a robe? We are married now." At that the man opens his robe and she exclaims, "oh, OH, OH MY, let me get a picture". He beams and asks why and she answers, "So I can get it enlarged!"

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