How do you scare an Instagram model?
You call her and say "I Know What You Wore Last Summer".
Why did the beautiful supermodel with Krohn's disease never have a date?
She always had too much shit to do.
How do you know a model is wearing tights?
Her knees swell up when she farts.
Why did the model bring lipstick and eye shadow to school?
She had a make-up exam!
Did you hear about Jen Selter?
She won a booty pageant.
What's a models favorite Disney Movie?
Wreck It Ralph Lauren.
Why does Paige Spiranac wear two pairs of pants?
In case she gets a hole in one.
What does an Instagram model eat?
According to Apple what is the leading cause of iPhones overheating?
Downloading images of Jen Selter's booty!
What was the movie "Superbad" originally about?
A heart-warming tale about Kim Kardashian's ass!
What club are models not allowed to talk about?
Pillow Fight Club.
Did you hear the song about the Snapchat model?
It goes like this "My milkshake brings all ur eyes to my bod...."
What is the origin of the word "Boob"?
The "B" is the aerial view, the "oo" is the front view, the "b" is the side view.
What do you call a model who gives blowjobs for Jimmy Choos?
Head Over Heels
What's the difference between a cocktail waitress and a stripper?
About 1 week.
What can a model put behind her ears to make her more attractive?
Why did the stripper stare at the orange juice can?
Because it said "concentrate."
What 3 things does a guy want from an instagram model?
Lips, hips and the new background pics.
What's 500 feet long and has an IQ of forty?
A final walk-through at a fashion show.
What does a pencil do at a fashion show?
It becomes a roll model.
Why did the actress get banned from fashion week?
She was no runway model citizen.
What kind of model is Paige Spiranac?
A hole in one of a kind model.
Why did the blonde model snort nutra sweet?
She thought it was diet coke!
Why do men like models with big tits and a tight ass?
Because they've got big mouths and little dicks.
Why did the panda date a Victoria Secret model?
She had really big bamboobs.
What do you get when you interrupt a model learning the piano?
Hot Cross Buns.
What do you call a model without boobs?
Did you see the Jennifer Lawrence movie where all the models try to kill each other?
It's called "The Starving Games".
What do you say to a model that won't give in?
"Have another beer."
Why was the models' belly button sore?
Because her boyfriend was a model too.
What do you call the space inbetween Pamela Anderson's breasts?
I've never understood models, those people are so clothes minded.
Of course male models dress well... They didn't spend all that time in the closet doing nothing.
If the shoe fits.....buy it in every color.
A model who was late for a shoot couldn't get an uber so she tried to board a bus but her skirt was so tight that she couldn't make the step up.
So she reached behind her, lowered her zip and tried again. Still the skirt was too tight. So again she reacher behind her, lowered her zip a little more and tried to negotiate the step. But still the skirt was too tight.
Determined to catch this bus, she once more reached behind her, lowered the zip a little and attempted to climb aboard. Then suddenly she felt two hands on her butt, helping her on to the bus.
She turned around angrily and told the man behind her: "Sir, I don't know you' well enough for you to behave in such a manner."
The man replied: "Lady, I don't know you well enough for you to unzip my fly three times either!"
"I have beautiful dog, a German Shepard. She is an amazing creature. We have lots of fun together. I never do anything weird with her, except that I let her smell my crotch once in a while. I call my dog, Claudia Sniffer."
A man pays for a first class ticket on a plane hoping to meet someone famous.
He is surprised when Elle Macpherson sits down and starts reading a book.
Wanting to start a conversation, he says "Cant help noticing the book you are reading."
She replies "Yes it is titled the sexual statistics of men. Do you know the American Indians have the longest penises of all nationalities and the polish have the thickest ones? By the way my name is Elle what is yours?"
"Tonto kowalski" He replied