Jokes4us.com

Click Here to Bookmark Jokes4us.com

Light Bulb Jokes


   Back to: People Jokes

Q: How many Emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: None, they all sit in the dark and cry.

Q: What did the light bulb say to the switch?
A: You turn me on.

Q: How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.

Q: How many hipsters does it take to change a light bulb?
A: It's a very obscure number, you probably won't have heard of it.

Q: How many Mexicans does it take to change a light bulb.
A: Just Juan

Q: What do you get when you cross a thought with a light bulb?
A: A bright idea!

Q: How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None 'o yo' fuckin' business!

Q: How many Christians does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. They all just imagine they've seen the light.

Q: How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.

Q: How many `Real Men' does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None: `Real Men' aren't afraid of the dark.

Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: How many can you afford?

Q: What is the difference between a lightbulb and a pregnant woman?
A: You can un-screw the lightbulb.

Q: How many lesbians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Four. One to change it, two to organize the potluck and one to write a folk song about the empowering experience

Q: How many stoners does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. Lava lamps don't burn out man !

Q: How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.

Q: How many college football players does it take to change a light bulb?
A: The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!

Q: How many cheating husbands does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. Cheating husbands screw in motels.

Q: How many fourteen year old boys does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: You said SCREW! HAHAHAHA!

Q: How many climate change skeptics does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. It's too early to say if the light bulb needs changing.

Q: How many Genius bar reps does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.

Q: How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Depends on what you want to change it into.

Q: How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 20. 1 to screw it in and 19 to call him a sellout.

Q: How many Apple Iphone early adopters does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 3001. 1 to do the work and 3000 to go online and bitch about the lack of obscure features!

Q: How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One. He puts the bulb in and lets the world revolve around him.

Q: How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes

Q: How many taxi drivers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to screw it in and one to overcharge for the bulb.

Q: How many `Beautiful Women' does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None: A `Beautiful Woman' has plenty of real men around to do it.

Q: How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.

Q: How many jugglers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One, but it takes at least three light bulbs.

Q: How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. It turned itself in.

Q: How many biologists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Four. One to change it and three to write the environmental-impact statement.

Q: How many crackheads does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: 4, one to hold the lightbulb and three to smoke until the room spins.

Q: How many politicians does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Two. One to change it, and another one to change it back again.

Q: How many Ohio State Buckeyes does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Two. One to change the lightbulb and one to crack under the pressure.

Q: How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one, but she'll break ten bulbs before figuring out that they can't just be pushed in.

Q: How many economists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. If the light bulb needed changing the market would have already done it.

Q: How many potheads does it take to change a lightbulb.
A: Screw it, we got lighters.

Q: How many squirrels does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Actually, none because squirrels only change bulbs that are NUT broken.

Q: How many male chauvinists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. Let her do the dishes in the dark.

Q: How many reindeer does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Eight. One to screw in the light bulb and seven to hold Rudolph down!

Q: How many Mormons does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Zero. Mormons don't use light bulbs because they can't see the light .

Q: How many Romulans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: ONE HUNDRED FIFTY_ONE: One to screw the light bulb in, and 150 to self-destruct the ship out of disgrace.

Q: How many vigilante superheros does it take to change a light-bulb?
A: None. They like the dark.

Q: How many Democrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Just one, but it really gets screwed.

Q: How does Congressman John Boehner change a lightbulb?
A: Why change the bulb when you can blame it all on Obama?

Q: How many newspaper columnists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Only one, but he'll tell everybody.

Q: How many divorced men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None, the sockets go with the house.

Q: How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to change it, and one to sniff the first ones' butt.

Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Three; one to do it and two to sue him for malpractice.

Q: How many math teachers does it take to replace a light bulb?
A: None. They can't do it, but they can prove that it can be done.

Joke Generators:
  • Click Here for a random Pick Up Line
  • Click Here for a random Yo Mama Joke
  • Click Here for a random Dirty Joke
  • Click Here for a random Ethnic Joke
  • Click Here for a random Blonde Joke
  • Click Here for a random Knock Knock Joke
  • Click Here for a Random Joke (all other categories)




  •   Jokes4us.com   Privacy Policy