Jewelry Jokes

I lost my mood ring,
I don't know how I feel about that.

What happens when your wife wants a pearl necklace?
You shell out a lot of money.

How do you protect a jewelry store at night?
You Locket.

Why is marriage is a three ring circus?
An engagement ring, a wedding ring, and suffer-ring!

How do you propose to the queen bee?
With a Ru-Bee ring.

What does marriage do?
Puts a ring on a woman's finger and two under the man's eyes.

How do you know it's time to get your girlfriend a fidget spinner ring?
When you want to spin the rest of your life with her.

What did the rabbit give his girlfriend?
14 carrot earrings!

What's the difference between Kevin Durant and a tree?
A tree has more rings.

What do you call a Los Angeles Charger with a Super Bowl ring?
A thief.

Why do blondes wear hoop earrings?
They have to have some place to rest their ankles.

How do you know you live in California?
You can't find your other earring because your son is wearing it.

Wife: I just had a dream that you bought me a diamond necklace?
Husband: Go back to sleep and wear it.

yo mama so skinny she can use a tennis bracelet as a hula hoop.

You know your husband is a scientist when he spends more on a calculator than he does on your anniversary gift.

Your earrings are the mirrors which reflect the moonlight into your eyes.

I have enough jewelry, said no woman ever.

A diamond is a chunk of coal that did well under pressure. -Henry Kissinger

It's my wife's birthday tomorrow. Last week I asked her what she wanted as a present.
'Oh, I don't know ,' she said . 'Just give me something with diamonds.
That's why I'm giving her a pack of playing cards.

Parents Bedroom
One night a little boy was awakened by noise coming from his parents bedroom.
As he silently stood by the door and peeked through the keyhole, he saw his mother and dad screwing.
The next morning, he asked his mother what they were doing. She replied: "Well, that's how you get babies.
The following night, the incident repeated itself and the little boy saw his mother putting his Dad's penis in her mouth.
The next morning he asked his mother the same question. She replied "That's how you get jewelry."