Babysitter Jokes
When does a woman get along with her in-laws?
If she can't find a babysitter.
Whats worse than having Casey Anthony as a mom?
Having Amy Winehouse as a nanny!
When your young, your parents tell you what time you need to be home.
When you grow up and get married, the babysitter tells you.
A babysitter is required to act like an adult so the parents can go out and act like teenagers.
That awkward moment when you go to work looking like Mary Poppins and come back looking like Cruella De Vil.
Some parents hire a babysitter when they should be hiring a lion tamer.
Keep calm and be supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.
Yo mama so old her first job was as Cain and Abel's babysitter.
Politics
Little Johnny goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?"
Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way. I'm the
breadwinner of the family, so let's call me Capitalism. Mommy is
the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the
Government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call
you The People. The nanny, well, consider her The Working Class.
Your baby brother, we'll call him The Future. Now go think about
this and see if it makes sense."
So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said.
Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying and
runs to his room only to find that his diapers are very soiled.
So the little boy goes to his parents' room. Mom is sound
asleep.
Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room.
Finding the door locked, he looks through the peephole and sees
his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to
bed.
The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I
think I understand what politics is now."
"Good son, tell me in your own words then what politics are."
The little boy replies, "Well, while Capitalism is screwing the
Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are
being ignored and the Future is in deep shit."