Short West Virginia Jokes
Q: What do West Virginians do on Halloween?
A: Pump kin!
Q: Did you hear that the governor's mansion in West Virginia burned down?
A: Almost took out the whole trailer park.
Q: What's the difference between Virginia and West Virginia?
A: In Virginia, Moosehead is a beer. In West Virginia it's a misdemeanor.
Q: Why do ducks fly over West Virginia upside down?
A: There's nothing worth craping on!
Q: Why couldn't the baby Jesus be born in West Virginia?
A: Because they couldn't find 3 wise men or a virgin.
Q. What's the difference between a Marshall University sorority sister and a scarecrow?
A. One lives in a field and is stuffed with hay. The other frightens birds and small animals.
Q: How do you know the toothbrush was invented in West Virginia?
A: If it was invented anywhere else, it would have been called a teethbrush.
Q: Why do Marshall grads keep their diplomas on their dashboards?
A: So they can park in handicap spaces.
Q: What do you call a good looking girl on the Marshall University campus?
A: A visitor.
Q: Why did Forrest Gump choose 'Bama over West Virginia?
A: He wanted an academic challenge!
Q: Did you hear about the power outage at the Marshall University library?
A: Thirty students were stuck on the escalator for three hours.
Q: Did you hear about the fire in University of West Virginia's football dorm that destroyed 20 books?
A: The real tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet.
Q: What does the average Marshall University student get on his SAT?
A: Drool.
Q: How many Marshall University freshman does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, it's a sophomore course.
Q: How do you make University of West Virginia cookies?
A: Put them in a big Bowl and beat for 3 hours.
Q: If you have a car containing a Mountaineers wide receiver, a Mountaineers linebacker, and a Mountaineers defensive back, who is driving the car?
A: The cop.
Q: What is the definition of safe sex down in West Virginia?
A: Placing signs on the animals that kick.
Q: How do you casterate an West Virginia Mountaineers fan?
A: Kick his sister in the mouth
Q: Whats the difference between the West Virginia Mountaineers and cheerios?
A: One belongs in a bowl. The other doesn't!
Q: Why do Marshall Thundering Herd students have TGIF on their shoes?
A: Toes Go In First!
Q. What do you get when you drive quickly through the Marshall Thundering Herd campus?
A. An undergraduate degree.
Q: What does a Thundering Herd grad call a Mountaineers grad in 5 years?
A: Boss!
I'm not saying Moutaineers basketball players are dumb, but the coach is dressing six players for this Saturdays game.
The rest will dress themselves.
Q: Why is "The Wave" banned in Joan C. Edwards Stadium?
A: Two Thundering Herd fans drowned last year.
Q: Why did the Wisconsin regents decide to cover Milan Puskar Stadium in cardboard?
A: Because the Mountaineers always look better on paper.
Q: What happens when blondes move from Kentucky to West Virginia?
A: Both states become smarter!
Q: Why aren't Marshall cheerleaders allowed to do the splits?
A: They stick to the ground.
Q: Why do all the trees in Kentucky lean east?
A: West Virginia Sucks
Q: What does a girl from Morgantown do if she's not in bed by 10pm?
A: Go Home.
Q: Why do West Virginia Mountaineers basketball players use body heat activated deodorant?
A: Because it's the closet they will come to getting a "Degree".
Q: Why do Marshall students have such beautiful noses?
A: They're hand picked.
Q: Why did West Virginia disband its water polo team?
A: All the horses drowned.
Q: What's the difference between a Fairmont State University and toilet paper?
A: About $50,000 per sheet.
Q: What does it say on the back of every Fairmont State University diploma?
A: Will Work For Food.
Q: Why did the Blue Ridge Community College grad cross the road?
A: Better question why is he out of jail?
Q: How does a dumb blonde get into college?
A: She applies to Fairmont State.
Q: Why should the West Virginia Mountaineers change their uniforms to Orange?
A: So they can play the game, direct traffic, and pick up trash without changing.
Q: What's the one thing that keeps Mountaineers basketball players from graduating?
A: Going to Class.
Q: Why did the Marshall football team cross the road?
A: Because it was easier than crossing the goal line.
Q: How is a Morgantown girl different from a bowling ball?
A: Sometimes a bowling ball is hard to pick up.
Q: What do West Virginia grads use for Birth Control?
A: Their personalities.
Q: How do you break a Marshall grads finger?
A: Punch him in the nose.
Q: How do you get a Marshall Thundering Herd fan to laugh all weekend long?
A: Tell him a joke Monday morning.
Q: Why do Marshall fans smell so bad?
A: So blind people can hate them too.
Q: Why did West Virginia change their field from grass to artificial turf?
A: To keep the Mountaineers cheerleaders from grazing the field at halftime.
Q: Did you hear that 9 out of 10 coeds are good looking?
A: The other one goes to Fairmont State.
Q: Whats the difference between Morgantown and yogurt?
A: Yogurt has an active living culture.
Q: Why do the West Virginia Mountaineers eat cereal straight from the box?
A: They choke whenever they get near a bowl.
Q: What's the difference between Milan Puskar Stadium and a cactus?
A: The cactus has its pricks on the outside.