Short Virginia Jokes
Q. What's the difference between a Radford University sorority sister and a scarecrow?
A. One lives in a field and is stuffed with hay. The other frightens birds and small animals.
Q: What's the only thing that grows in Virginia Beach?
A: The swelling from your head from getting jacked!
Q: What's the difference between Virginia and West Virginia?
A: In Virginia, Moosehead is a beer. In West Virginia it's a misdemeanor.
Q: Why do Radford grads keep their diplomas on their dashboards?
A: So they can park in handicap spaces.
Q: What do you call a good looking girl on the Radford University campus?
A: A visitor.
Q: If Mississippi bought Virginia a New Jersey, what would Delaware?
A: Idaho... Alaska!
Q: Did you hear about the power outage at the University of Virginia library?
A: Thirty students were stuck on the escalator for three hours.
Q: Did you hear about the fire in Virgina Tech's football dorm that destroyed 20 books?
A: The real tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet.
Q: What does the average Virginia Tech University student get on his SAT?
Q: What's harder than a loner Korean getting admission to Virginia Tech?
Q: How many Virginia Tech University freshman does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, it's a sophomore course.
Q: How do you make University of Virginia Tech cookies?
A: Put them in a big Bowl and beat for 3 hours.
Q: If you have a car containing a Hokies wide receiver, a Hokies linebacker, and a Hokies defensive back, who is driving the car?
A: The cop.
Q: What is the definition of safe sex down in Virginia?
A: Placing signs on the animals that kick.
Q: How do you casterate a Virginia Tech fan?
A: Kick his sister in the mouth
Q: Whats the difference between the Virginia Tech Hokies and cheerios?
A: One belongs in a bowl. The other doesn't!
Q: Why do Virginia Techs students have TGIF on their shoes?
A: Toes Go In First!
Q. What do you get when you drive quickly through the Virginia Tech's campus?
A. An undergraduate degree.
Q: Why are rectal thermometers banned at the University of Virginia?
A: They cause too much brain damage!
Q: What should you do if you find three Virginia Tech Hokies football fans buried up to their neck in cement?
A: Get more cement.
Q: What does a Cavaliers grad call a Hokies grad in 5 years?
I'm not saying Virginia Tech basketball players are dumb, but the coach is dressing six players for this Saturdays game.
The rest will dress themselves.
Q: Why is "The Wave" banned in Lane Stadium?
A: Two Hokies fans drowned last year.
Q: Why did the Virginia regents decide to cover Scott Stadium in cardboard?
A: Because the Cavaliers always look better on paper.
Q: What happens when blondes move from Maryland to Virginia?
A: Both states become smarter!
Q: Why aren't Virginia Commonwealth cheerleaders allowed to do the splits?
A: They stick to the ground.
Q: Why do all the trees in North Carolina lean north?
A: Virginia Sucks
Q: What does a girl from Richmond do if she's not in bed by 10pm?
A: Go Home.
Q: Why do Virginia Tech basketball players use body heat activated deodorant?
A: Because it's the closet they will come to getting a "Degree".
Q: Why do George Mason students have such beautiful noses?
A: They're hand picked.
Q: Why did VCU disband its water polo team?
A: All the horses drowned.
Q: What's the difference between a VCU diploma and toilet paper?
A: About $50,000 per sheet.
Q: What does it say on the back of every George Washington diploma?
A: Will Work For Food.
Q: Why did the Tidewater Community College grad cross the road?
A: Better question why is he out of jail?
Q: How does a dumb blonde get into college?
A: She applies to VCU.
Q: Why did the Virginia Cavaliers change their uniforms to Orange?
A: So they can play the game, direct traffic, and pick up trash without changing.
Q: What's the one thing that keeps Virginia Tech basketball players from graduating?
A: Going to Class.
Q: Why did the Cavaliers football team cross the road?
A: Because it was easier than crossing the goal line.
Q: How is a Fairfax girl different from a bowling ball?
A: Sometimes a bowling ball is hard to pick up.
Q: What do John Hopkins grads use for Birth Control?
A: Their personalities.
Q: How do you break a Virginia Tech grads finger?
A: Punch him in the nose.
Q: How do you get a VCU fan to laugh all weekend long?
A: Tell him a joke Monday morning.
Q: Why do George Mason fans smell so bad?
A: So blind people can hate them too.
Q: Why did Virginia Tech change their field from grass to artificial turf?
A: To keep the Hokies cheerleaders from grazing the field at halftime.
Q: Did you hear that 9 out of 10 coeds are good looking?
A: The other one goes to George Mason.