Back to: Miscellaneous Jokes : World Jokes
Short Vietnam Jokes
Q: What do you call Vietnamese guy that wants to be black?
A: Vinegar.
Q: What happens when a Mexican and an Vietnamese man make a baby?
A: A car thief who can't actually drive is born.
Q: How do you blind an Vietnamese woman?
A: You put a windshield in front of him.
Q: How does every Vietnamese joke start?
A: By looking over your shoulder.
Q: Whats the difference between a smart Vietnamese man and a unicorn?
A: Nothing, they're both fictional characters
Q: Did you hear about the winner of the Vietnamese beauty contest?
A: Me neither.
Q: Why wasn't Jesus born in Vietnam?
A: He couldn't find 3 wise men or a virgin.
Blind Fold
An American man was sitting in his favorite restaurant when a Vietnamese bloke said to him, "I am sick of seeing your big round eyes."
The American replied, "Put on a blind fold."
The Vietnamese man asked, "Where do I get one?
The American then said, "Here take my shoe lace."
Free Man
A Vietnamese couple who has been married for twenty years went to the wedding reception of a close comrade's daughter. During the ring exchange ceremony, the husband started to cry profusely.
The wife, surprised by her husband's emotional outburst, said, " I didn't realize that you have so much feeling to share with your comrade's happiness."
The husband replied, "No, you are wrong! That was not why I cried." He continued, "Twenty years ago, your father caught us doing it, and threatened that if I don't marry you, he'll get the Vietcong to put me behind bars for twenty years.
Weeping even louder, the husband said, "If I had just gone to jail, I would've been a free man by now. I made a big mistake. "
Cigar
An American GI was fighting in Vietnam. One day he received 2 letters from home, one letter comes from his mom asking for his picture, one letter comes from his girl friend also asking for his picture. He had only 1 picture that he took at a beach standing naked. He didn't know what to do so he decided to cut the picture into two, the top half he sent to his girl friend.
The bottom half he sent to his mom because he knew his mom had a poor eyesight, she wouldn't know. When his mom received the bottom half of his naked picture, she sighed: "Poor my little boy! He has no time to shave his beard. He looks like his father, always has a cigar on his mouth."
Border Patrol
Tuan comes up to the border between Vietnam and China on his bicycle. He has two large bags over his shoulders. The guard stops him and says, "What's in the bags?"
"Rice," answered Tuan.
The guard says, "We'll just see about that. Get off the bike." The guard takes the bags and rips them apart; he empties them out and finds nothing in them but rice. He detains Tuan overnight and has the rice analyzed, only to discover that there is nothing but pure rice in the bags The guard releases Tuan, puts the sand into new bags, hefts them onto the man's shoulders, and lets him cross the border.
A week later, the same thing happens. The guard asks, "What have you got?"
"Rice," says Tuan.
The guard does his thorough examination and discovers that the bags contain nothing but rice. He gives the sand back to Tuan, and Tuan crosses the border on his bicycle.
This sequence of events if repeated every day for three years. Finally, Tuan doesn't show up one day and the guard meets him in a noodles restaurant in Vietnam.
"Hey, Buddy," says the guard, "I know you are smuggling something. It's driving me crazy. It's all I think about..... I can't sleep. Just between you and me, what are you smuggling?"
Tuan sips his beer and says, "Bicycles."
Vietnam Vet
A man was being interviewed for a job.
"Were you in the service?" asked the interviewer.
"Yes, I was a Marine," responded the applicant.
"Did you see any active duty?"
"I was in Vietnam for 2 years and I have a partial disability."
"May I ask what happened?"
"Well, I had a grenade go off between my legs and I lost both testicles."
"You're hired. You can start Monday at 10 am."
The somewhat surprised applicant asked, "When does everyone else start? I don't want any preferential treatment because of my disability."
"Everyone else starts at 7 o'clock, but I should be honest with you," explained the interviewer. "Nothing gets done before 10 o'clock because we just sit and scratch our balls trying to decide what to do first."
Vietnamese Tradition
A soldier in Vietnam saw a local man coming down the road with his wife behind him with a bicycle loaded with all their possessions. The soldier asked him why he carried nothing but a cigarette and his wife had to push the loaded bicycle alone. The man replied, "TRADITION".
Two weeks later he saw the same local man on the same road but this time she was in front and he was pushing the loaded bicycle. The soldier asked him what happened to TRADITION and the man said "LAND MINES"
Currency Exchange
"A Vietnamese man walked into the currency exchange in New York City with 2 million vietnam dong and walked out with $100.
The following week, he walked in with another 2 million vietnam dong, and was handed $84.
He asked the teller why he got less money that week than the previous week.
The teller said, "Fluctuations."
The Vietnamese man stormed out, and just before slamming the door, turned around and shouted, "Fluc you Amelicans, too!""
Vietnamese Pizza
An American businessman goes to Vietnam on a business trip, but he hates Vietnamese food, so he asks the concierge at his hotel if there's any place around where he can get American food.
The concierge tells him he's in luck; there's a pizza place that just opened, and they deliver. The concierge gives the businessman the phone number, and he goes back to his room and orders a pizza.
Thirty minutes later, the delivery guy shows up to the door with the pizza.
The businessman takes the pizza, and starts sneezing uncontrollably. He asks the delivery man, "What the heck did you put on this pizza?"
The delivery man bows deeply and says, "We put on the pizza what you ordered, pepper only."
Joke Generators:
Click Here for a random Pick Up Line
Click Here for a random Yo Mama Joke
Click Here for a random Dirty Joke
Click Here for a random Ethnic Joke
Click Here for a random Blonde Joke
Click Here for a random Knock Knock Joke
Click Here for a Random Joke (all other categories)
|
|
Click Here to Bookmark Jokes4us.com 
