Short Sweden Jokes
Why don't Scandinavians need sugar?
Because they already have artificial Swedeners.
How does every Swedish joke start?
By looking over your shoulder.
Whats the difference between a smart Swede and a unicorn?
Nothing, they're both fictional characters
Why wasn't Jesus born in Sweden?
He couldn't find 3 wise men or a virgin.
What time was it when the monster ate the Prime Minister of Sweden?
I asked my Swedish friend "Who are the dumbest Scandinavians?
He said "Norway am I going to answer that question."
What do Scandinavians eat with their burgers?
Swede potato fries.
Where do desserts go on holiday?
Why did the vampire like eating Scandinavians?
He had a Swede tooth.
Why do Swedes always drink their milk in the store?
Because on the box it says "oppnas har".
What did Elin Nordegren wish Tiger Woods before she hit him with a golf club?
A Swede was reading the phonebook, "Forsberg... Forsberg... Forsberg... It's incredible how many phone numbers that guy has."
What does SAAB stand for?
Swedish Autos Always Breakdown.
What do you call a cat that can put together furniture from Ikea?
An Assembly kit.
What happens when a blonde moves from Sweden to Norway?
The average IQ in both countries goes up.
This Swede was taking a pee on the side of a building and this Englishman sees him. After the Swede is done the English bloke asks him, "How come you Swedes don't wash your hands after you pee?"
The Swede smiles, "I beg your pardon, we Swedes don't piss in our hands..."
A blonde Swede was sitting on a bus reading the newspaper when all of a sudden she starts to cry.
The Spanish guy sitting next to her asks what's wrong and she replies that 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed in a drug bust.
The Spanish man agrees that the news is very sad.
After a while the Swedish blonde asks, "How many is a Brazilian?"