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Short South Dakota Jokes
Q: What do South Dakotans do on Halloween?
A: Pump kin!
Q: Did you hear that the governor's mansion in South Dakota burned down?
A: Almost took out the whole trailer park.
Q: Why do ducks fly over South Dakota upside down?
A: There's nothing worth craping on!
Q. What's the difference between a University of South Dakota sorority sister and a scarecrow?
A. One lives in a field and is stuffed with hay. The other frightens birds and small animals.
Q: How do you know the toothbrush was invented in South Dakota?
A: If it was invented anywhere else, it would have been called a teethbrush.
Q: What's the most popular pick up line in South Dakota?
A: Nice tooth!
Q: Why do folks from South Dakota go to the movie theater in groups of 18 or more?
A: 17 and under are not admitted.
Q: Why couldn't the baby Jesus be born in South Dakota?
A: Because they couldn't find 3 wise men or a virgin.
Q: Why are there so many unsolved murders in South Dakota?
A: There are no dental records and everyone has the same DNA
Q: Why did South Dakota raise the minimum drinking age to 25?
A: They wanted to keep alcohol out of the high schools!
Q: How can you tell if someone in South Dakota is married?
A: The tobacco spit stains are on both sides of his pickup truck.
Q: Why do University of South Dakota grads keep their diplomas on their dashboards?
A: So they can park in handicap spaces.
Q: What do you call a good looking girl on the University of South Dakota campus?
A: A visitor.
Q: Did you hear about the power outage at the University of South Dakota library?
A: Thirty students were stuck on the escalator for three hours.
Q: What does the average University of South Dakota student get on his SAT?
A: Drool.
Q: How many University of South Dakota freshman does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, it's a sophomore course.
Q: What is the definition of safe sex down in South Dakota?
A: Placing signs on the animals that kick.
Q: How do you casterate a South Dakota grad?
A: Kick his sister in the mouth
Q: Why do South Dakota students have TGIF on their shoes?
A: Toes Go In First!
Q. What do you get when you drive quickly through the South Dakota campus?
A. An undergraduate degree.
Q: Why are rectal thermometers banned at the University of South Dakota?
A: They cause too much brain damage!
Q: What should you do if you find three University Of South Dakota basketball fans buried up to their neck in cement?
A: Get more cement.
Q: What's the difference between a South Dakota grad and a carp?
A: One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.
Q. Why do they sell so many button-fly jeans in South Dakota?
A. Because the sheep can hear the zippers a mile away.
Q. How did the South Dakota grad die from drinking milk?
A. The cow fell on him!
Q: What is the definition of a South Dakota virgin?
A: An ugly twelve year old who can outrun her brothers..
Q: What do they call students who go to University of South Dakota?
A: Rejects from University of North Dakota!
Q: What's the difference between a South Dakota basketball player and a dollar?
A: You can get four quarters out of a dollar.
Q: How many South Dakota grads does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. Lava lamps don’t burn out man!
Q: What are the best four years of an South Dakota grads life?
A: Third grade
Q: What does a South Dakota native and a bottle of beer have in common?
A: They’re both empty from the neck up.
Q: What do tornadoes and graduates from the University of South Dakota have in common?
A: They both end up in trailer parks.
Q. How do they separate the men from the boys in South Dakota?
A. With a restraining order.
Q. What's the first thing an South Dakota girl does when she wakes up in the morning?
A. Walks home.
Q: What do you call a South Dakota grad with a job?
A: A liar!
Q: What did the South Dakota female say after sex?
A: Get off me Dad, you're crushing my smokes!
Q: Why don't girls play hide and seek in South Dakota?
A: No one would look for them.
Elevator
A country bumpkin family from South Dakota decides to go to the Big Apple for the first Time in their lives; Maw, Paw and their son.
They go into the Empire State Building. As they're walking around they notice the elevator.
Never seeing one before they stand in front of it bewildered.
While staring at it, an old lady in a wheelchair rolls up to it, pushes the button, the door opens, she rolls herself inside and the door closes.
The South Dakota redneck family watches as the lights for each floor light as it goes up. They continue to watch as the numbers go down again.
The door opens and out walks this tall gorgeous blonde. Legs to her neck. Great figure. Beautiful!
Paw looks at his son and says, "Quick boy, shove yer Maw in there!"
Sheep Coitus
A man from Texas and a South Dakota man were driving along when all of a sudden the Texas man slams on the brakes.
There was a sheep with her head stuck in the fence and the Texas man said "We Texans never pass up an opportunity like this!" And he gets out and has his way with the sheep.
Then he says to the South Dakota man, "Your turn"...
And the South Dakota man bends over and sticks his head in the fence.
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