South Dakota Jokes

Short South Dakota Jokes

Q: What do South Dakotans do on Halloween?
A: Pump kin!

Q: Did you hear that the governor's mansion in South Dakota burned down?
A: Almost took out the whole trailer park.

Q: Why do ducks fly over South Dakota upside down?
A: There's nothing worth craping on!

Q. What's the difference between a University of South Dakota sorority sister and a scarecrow?
A. One lives in a field and is stuffed with hay. The other frightens birds and small animals.

Q: How do you know the toothbrush was invented in South Dakota?
A: If it was invented anywhere else, it would have been called a teethbrush.

Q: What's the most popular pick up line in South Dakota?
A: Nice tooth!

Q: Why do folks from South Dakota go to the movie theater in groups of 18 or more?
A: 17 and under are not admitted.

Q: Why couldn't the baby Jesus be born in South Dakota?
A: Because they couldn't find 3 wise men or a virgin.

Q: Why are there so many unsolved murders in South Dakota?
A: There are no dental records and everyone has the same DNA

Q: What does a Coyotes grad call a Jackrabbits grad in 5 years?
A: Boss!

Q: Why is "The Wave" banned in Coughlin-Alumni Stadium?
A: Two Jackrabbits fans drowned last year.

Q: Why did the South Dakota regents decide to cover DakotaDome in cardboard?
A: Because the Coyotes always look better on paper.

Q: What happens when blondes move from North Dakota to South Dakota?
A: Both states become smarter!

Q: Why aren't Jackrabbits cheerleaders allowed to do the splits?
A: They stick to the ground.

Q: Why do all the trees in Minnesota lean west?
A: South Dakota Sucks

Q: What does a girl from South Dakota do if she's not in bed by 10pm?
A: Go Home.

Q: Why do Coyotes hockey players use body heat activated deodorant?
A: Because it's the closet they will come to getting a "Degree".

Q: Why do Black Hills State students have such beautiful noses?
A: They're hand picked.

Q: Why did the Jackrabbits disband its water polo team?
A: All the horses drowned.

Q: What's the difference between a Black Hills State diploma and toilet paper?
A: About $30,000 per sheet.

Q: What does it say on the back of every Black Hills State diploma?
A: Will Work For Food.

Q: Why did the Dakota State grad cross the road?
A: Better question why is he out of jail?

Q: How does a dumb blonde get into college?
A: She applies to Dakota State.

Q: Why should the South Dakota State Jackrabbits change their uniforms to Orange?
A: So they can play the game, direct traffic, and pick up trash without changing.

Q: What's the one thing that keeps Coyotes hockey players from graduating?
A: Going to Class.

Q: Why did the South Dakota Coyotes hockey team cross the road?
A: Because it was easier than crossing the goal line.

Q: How is a Sioux Falls girl different from a bowling ball?
A: Sometimes a bowling ball is hard to pick up.

Q: What do Coyotes grads use for Birth Control?
A: Their personalities.

Q: How do you break a Black Hills State grads finger?
A: Punch him in the nose.

Q: How do you get a South Dakota State Jackrabbits fan to laugh all weekend long?
A: Tell him a joke Monday morning.

Q: Why do South Dakota State Jackrabbits fans smell so bad?
A: So blind people can hate them too.

Q: Did you hear that 9 out of 10 coeds are good looking?
A: The other one goes to Dakota State.

Q: Whats the difference between Sioux Falls and yogurt?
A: Yogurt has an active living culture.

Q: What's the difference between the DakotaDome and a cactus?
A: The cactus has its pricks on the outside.

Q: What separates a good hockey team from a great hockey team?
A: The South Dakota-Minnesota border.

Q: How do you confuse a Dakota State student?
A: You can't they were born that way.

Q: How do you get from Grand Folks to Vermillion?
A: Go south until you smell shit and west until you step in it.

Q: What will you never hear a Dakota State grad say?
A: "I have reviewed your application......"

Q: Why did South Dakota raise the minimum drinking age to 25?
A: They wanted to keep alcohol out of the high schools!

Q: How can you tell if someone in South Dakota is married?
A: The tobacco spit stains are on both sides of his pickup truck.

Q: Why do University of South Dakota grads keep their diplomas on their dashboards?
A: So they can park in handicap spaces.

Q: What do you call a good looking girl on the University of South Dakota campus?
A: A visitor.

Q: Did you hear about the power outage at the University of South Dakota library?
A: Thirty students were stuck on the escalator for three hours.

Q: What does the average University of South Dakota student get on his SAT?
A: Drool.

Q: How many University of South Dakota freshman does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, it's a sophomore course.

Q: What is the definition of safe sex down in South Dakota?
A: Placing signs on the animals that kick.

Q: How do you casterate a South Dakota grad?
A: Kick his sister in the mouth

Q: Why do South Dakota students have TGIF on their shoes?
A: Toes Go In First!

Q. What do you get when you drive quickly through the South Dakota campus?
A. An undergraduate degree.

Q: Why are rectal thermometers banned at the University of South Dakota?
A: They cause too much brain damage!

Q: What should you do if you find three University Of South Dakota basketball fans buried up to their neck in cement?
A: Get more cement.

Q: What is 20 feet long and has 5 teeth?
A: The funnel cake line at the South Dakota state fair.

Q: What's the difference between a South Dakota grad and a carp?
A: One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.

Q. Why do they sell so many button-fly jeans in South Dakota?
A. Because the sheep can hear the zippers a mile away.

Q. How did the South Dakota grad die from drinking milk?
A. The cow fell on him!

Q: How do you get a man in South Dakota to do sit-ups?
A: Put the remote control between his toes..

Q: What do they call students who go to University of South Dakota?
A: Rejects from University of North Dakota!

Q: What's the difference between a South Dakota basketball player and a dollar?
A: You can get four quarters out of a dollar.

Q: How many South Dakota grads does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. Lava lamps don't burn out man!

Q: What are the best four years of an South Dakota grads life?
A: Third grade

Q: What does a South Dakota native and a bottle of beer have in common?
A: They're both empty from the neck up.

Q: What do tornadoes and graduates from the University of South Dakota have in common?
A: They both end up in trailer parks.

Q. How do they separate the men from the boys in South Dakota?
A. With a restraining order.

Q. What's the first thing an South Dakota girl does when she wakes up in the morning?
A. Walks home.

Q: What do you call a South Dakota grad with a job?
A: A liar!

Q: What did the South Dakota female say after sex?
A: Get off me Dad, you're crushing my smokes!

Q: Why don't girls play hide and seek in South Dakota?
A: No one would look for them.

I'm not drunk, I'm from South Dakota.

A country bumpkin family from South Dakota decides to go to the Big Apple for the first Time in their lives; Maw, Paw and their son.

They go into the Empire State Building. As they're walking around they notice the elevator.

Never seeing one before they stand in front of it bewildered.

While staring at it, an old lady in a wheelchair rolls up to it, pushes the button, the door opens, she rolls herself inside and the door closes.

The South Dakota redneck family watches as the lights for each floor light as it goes up. They continue to watch as the numbers go down again.

The door opens and out walks this tall gorgeous blonde. Legs to her neck. Great figure. Beautiful!

Paw looks at his son and says, "Quick boy, shove yer Maw in there!"

Sheep Coitus

A man from Texas and a South Dakota man were driving along when all of a sudden the Texas man slams on the brakes.

There was a sheep with her head stuck in the fence and the Texas man said "We Texans never pass up an opportunity like this!" And he gets out and has his way with the sheep.

Then he says to the South Dakota man, "Your turn"...

And the South Dakota man bends over and sticks his head in the fence.

One Day This Kid And His Mom Were Walking Past A Cemetery When They Past A Grave And the Kid Stopped To Read It.

He Read Aloud "Here Lies A South Dakota Graduate And A Great Man."

The Kid Then Says "Mom I Dont Get It."

The Mom Says "Why Not?"

The Kid Says "Why Are there 2 People Burried here?"

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