Short New Mexico Jokes
Q. What's the difference between a Western New Mexico University sorority sister and a scarecrow?
A. One lives in a field and is stuffed with hay. The other frightens birds and small animals.
Q: What's the only thing that grows in Albuquerque?
A: The Crime Rate!
Q: What's the only thing that grows in Albuquerque?
A: The swelling from your head from getting jacked!
Q: Why couldn't the baby Jesus be born in New Mexico?
A: Because they couldn't find 3 wise men or a virgin.
Q: Why do New Mexico State grads keep their diplomas on their dashboards?
A: So they can park in handicap spaces.
Q: What do you call a good looking girl on the New Mexico State University campus?
A: A visitor.
Q: Why did Forrest Gump choose 'Bama over New Mexico?
A: He wanted an academic challenge!
Q: What does an Aggies grad call a Lobos grad in 5 years?
I'm not saying New Mexico State basketball players are dumb, but the coach is dressing six players for this Saturdays game.
The rest will dress themselves.
Q: Why is "The Wave" banned in Aggie Memorial Stadium?
A: Two Aggies fans drowned last year.
Q: Why did the New Mexico regents decide to cover University Stadium in cardboard?
A: Because the Lobos always look better on paper.
Q: What happens when blondes move from Nevada to New Mexico?
A: Both states become smarter!
Q: Why aren't New Mexico State cheerleaders allowed to do the splits?
A: They stick to the ground.
Q: Why do all the trees in Arizona lean east?
A: New Mexico Sucks
Q: What does a girl from Albuquerque do if she's not in bed by 10pm?
A: Go Home.
Q: Why do Lobos basketball players use body heat activated deodorant?
A: Because it's the closet they will come to getting a "Degree".
Q: Why do New Mexico Lobos students have such beautiful noses?
A: They're hand picked.
Q: Why did New Mexico disband its water polo team?
A: All the horses drowned.
Q: What's the difference between a New Mexico State diploma and toilet paper?
A: About $80,000 per sheet.
Q: What does it say on the back of every New Mexico State diploma?
A: Will Work For Food.
Q: Why did the Santa Fe Community College grad cross the road?
A: Better question why is he out of jail?
Q: How does a dumb blonde get into college?
A: She applies to New Mexico State.
Q: Why should the Aggies change their uniforms to Orange?
A: So they can play the game, direct traffic, and pick up trash without changing.
Q: What's the one thing that keeps Lobos basketball players from graduating?
A: Going to Class.
Q: Why did the New Mexico Lobos football team cross the road?
A: Because it was easier than crossing the goal line.
Q: How is a Albuquerque girl different from a bowling ball?
A: Sometimes a bowling ball is hard to pick up.
Q: What do New Mexico grads use for Birth Control?
A: Their personalities.
Q: How do you break a Lobos grads finger?
A: Punch him in the nose.
Q: How do you get an Aggies fan to laugh all weekend long?
A: Tell him a joke Monday morning.
Q: Why do New Mexico State fans smell so bad?
A: So blind people can hate them too.
Q: Why did New Mexico change their field from grass to artificial turf?
A: To keep the Lobos cheerleaders from grazing the field at halftime.
Q: Did you hear that 9 out of 10 coeds are good looking?
A: The other one goes to New Mexico State.
Q: Whats the difference between Albuquerque and yogurt?
A: Yogurt has an active living culture.
Q: Why do the New Mexico Lobos eat cereal straight from the box?
A: They choke whenever they get near a bowl.
Q: What's the difference between University Stadium and a cactus?
A: The cactus has its pricks on the outside.
Q: What separates a good team from a great team?
A: The Arizona-New Mexico border.
Q: How do you confuse a New Mexico State student?
A: You can't they were born that way.
Q: How do you get from Phoenix to Albuquerque?
A: Go east until you smell shit and north until you step in it.
Q: What will you never hear an Eastern New Mexico University grad say?
A: "I have reviewed your application......"
Q: Did you hear about the power outage at the New Mexico State University library?
A: Thirty students were stuck on the escalator for three hours.
Q: Did you hear about the fire in University of New Mexico's football dorm that destroyed 20 books?
A: The real tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet.
Q: What does the average Western New Mexico University student get on his SAT?
Q: How many New Mexico State University freshman does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, it's a sophomore course.
Q: How do you make University of New Mexico cookies?
A: Put them in a big Bowl and beat for 3 hours.
Q: If you have a car containing a Lobos wide receiver, a Lobos linebacker, and a Lobos defensive back, who is driving the car?
A: The cop.
Q: What is the definition of safe sex down in New Mexico?
A: Placing signs on the animals that kick.
Q: How do you casterate an New Mexico Lobos fan?
A: Kick his sister in the mouth
Q: Whats the difference between the New Mexico Lobos and cheerios?
A: One belongs in a bowl. The other doesn't!
Q: Why do New Mexico students have TGIF on their shoes?
A: Toes Go In First!
Q. What do you get when you drive quickly through the New Mexico State University campus?
A. An undergraduate degree.
Q: Why are rectal thermometers banned at the University of New Mexico?
A: They cause too much brain damage!