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Short New Hampshire Jokes
Q. What's the difference between a Southern New Hampshire University sorority sister and a scarecrow?
A. One lives in a field and is stuffed with hay. The other frightens birds and small animals.
Q: Why do Southern New Hampshire University grads keep their diplomas on their dashboards?
A: So they can park in handicap spaces.
Q: What do you call a good looking girl on the Southern New Hampshire University Illinois campus?
A: A visitor.
Q: Why couldn't the baby Jesus be born in New Hampshire?
A: Because they couldn't find 3 wise men or a virgin.
Q: Did you hear about the power outage at the Southern New Hampshire University library?
A: Thirty students were stuck on the escalator for three hours.
Q: Did you hear about the fire in University of New Hampshire's football dorm that destroyed 20 books?
A: The real tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet.
Q: What does the average Southern New Hampshire University student get on his SAT?
Q: How many Southern New Hampshire University freshman does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, it's a sophomore course.
Q: What is the definition of safe sex down in New Hampshire?
A: Placing signs on the animals that kick.
Q: How do you casterate an University of New Hampshire grad?
A: Kick his sister in the mouth
Q: Why do New Hampshire students have TGIF on their shoes?
A: Toes Go In First!
Q. What do you get when you drive quickly through the University of New Hampshire campus?
A. An undergraduate degree.
Q: Why are rectal thermometers banned at the University of New Hampshire?
A: They cause too much brain damage!
Q: What should you do if you find three University Of New Hampshire basketball fans buried up to their neck in cement?
A: Get more cement.
Q. Why do they sell so many button-fly jeans in New Hampshire?
A. Because the sheep can hear the zippers a mile away.
Q. How did the New Hampshire grad die from drinking milk?
A. The cow fell on him!
Q: What is the definition of a New Hampshire virgin?
A: An ugly twelve year old who can outrun her brothers..
Q: What do they call students who go to the University of New Hampshire?
A: Rejects from Dartmouth!
Q: What do UNH and Dartmouth students have in common?
A: They both got in to UNH
Q: How many New Hampshire grads does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. Lava lamps don’t burn out man!
Q: What are the best four years of an UNH grads life?
A: Third grade
Q: What does a New Hampshire native and a bottle of beer have in common?
A: They’re both empty from the neck up.
Q: What do tornadoes and graduates from the University of New Hampshire have in common?
A: They both end up in trailer parks.
Q. How do they separate the men from the boys in New Hampshire?
A. With a restraining order.
Q. What's the first thing a New Hampshire girl does when she wakes up in the morning?
A. Walks home.
Q: What did the New Hampshire female say after sex?
A: Get off me Dad, you're crushing my smokes!
Q: Why don't girls play hide and seek in New Hampshire?
A: No one would look for them.
A man from Texas and a New Hampshire fan were driving along when all of a sudden the Texas man slams on the brakes.
There was a sheep with her head stuck in the fence and the Texas man said "We Texans never pass up an opportunity like this!" And he gets out and has his way with the sheep.
Then he says to the New Hampshire man, "Your turn"...
And the New Hampshire man bends over and sticks his head in the fence.
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