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Short Mexico Jokes
Q: Why do Mexicans make refried beans?
A: Ever heard of a Mexican doing something right the first time.
Q: What do you call a Mexican with a rubber toe?
A: Roberto!
Q: What do you call a Mexican with a lowered car?
A: Carlos!
Q: Why did the blonde have sex with a Mexican?
A: Her teacher told her she had to do an essay.
Q: What is lazy and owns a lawnmower?
A: A Mexican with a job.
Q: What do you call two mexicans playing basketball?
A: Juan on Juan.
Q: How does every Mexican joke start?
A: By looking over your shoulder.
Q: Whats the difference between a smart Mexican and a unicorn?
A: Nothing, they're both fictional characters
Q: What do you get when you mix a Mexican and an octopus?
A: I don't know either, but imagine that thing picking oranges
Q: Why cant Mexicans have a barbeque?
A: The beans keep falling through the grill
Q: What do you call an Mexican in the knockout stages of the World Cup?
A: A Referee.
Q: What do you get when you cross a Mexican and a German?
A: A Beaner-Schnitzel
Q: Why were there only 600 Mexicans at the Alamo?
A: They only had two cars.
Q: What happens when a Mexican and an ASIAN make a baby?
A: A car thief who can't actually drive is born.
Q: What do you get when you cross a Mexican and an Iranian?
A: Oil of Ol'e.
Q: Why did God give Mexicans noses?
A: So they'll have something to pick in the winter.
Q: What were the 2 Mexican FireFighting Brother's names?
A: Hose A and Hose B
Q: What kind of cans are there in Mexico?
A: Mexicans.
Q: What's a mexicans favorite book store?
A: Borders
Q: Why don't Mexicans play hide and seek?
A: Cause nobody will look for them?
Q: What do you call a building full of Mexicans?
A: Jail
Q: Why are mexicans and basketball players a like?
A: They both run jump shoot and steal
Q: What do mexicans and vending machines have in common?
A: They both take your money and don't work.
Q: How do you keep mexicans from stealing?
A: Put everthing on the top shelf.
Q: What's a mexican's favorite sport?
A: Cross country
Q: Why can't mexicans be firemen?
A: They can't tell the difference between jose and hose b
Q: Why don't mexicans cross the border in 3's?
A: Because it says no trespassing
Q: How Do You Starve A Mexican?
A: Put Their Food Stamps In Their Work Boots.
Q: Did you hear about the winner of the mexican beauty contest?
A: Me neither.
Q: What are the first 3 words in every mexican cookbook?
A: Steal a chicken
Q: How do you stop a mexican from robbing your house?
A: Put up a help-wanted sign
Q: What do you call a Mexican driving a BMW?
A: Grand Theft Auto.
Q: Why wasn't Jesus born in Mexico?
A: He couldn't find 3 wise men or a virgin.
Q: What do you call a Mexican without a lawn mower?
A: Unemployed.
Q: Why do Mexicans drive low riders?
A: They are too short to get into any other type of car.
Q: Why doesn't Mexico have a Olympic team?
A: Because everyone that can run, jump, and swim is already across the border!
Piss
This Mexican dude was taking a pee on the side of a building and this Texan sees him. After the Mexican is done the texan bloke asks him, "How come you Mexicans don't wash your hands after you pee?"
The Mexican smiles, "Senior, we Mexicans don't piss in our hands..."
Mexican Wedding
A big tough Mexican man married a good-looking Mexican lady and after the wedding, laid down the following rules:
"Honey, I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want - and I don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless I tell you otherwise. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozin, and card-playing when I want with my old buddies and don't you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules! Any comments?"
His lovely new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there'll be sex here at eight o'clock every night - whether you're here or not."
You Know You Are a Mexican When...
You share the same social security number with all your amigos
You smell like BO all the time
You have at least thirty cousins
You can't imagine anyone not liking spicy food
There is at least one member in your family name Maria, Guadalupe, Juan, Jose, or Jesus
You run and hide when you see the border patrol
You see a fence and want to hop over it
You have crooked teeth
You are too short to go on rides in disney land
You fart more than you breath
You have at least thirty cousins
You can't imagine anyone not liking spicy food
You are in a 5-passenger car with 8 people in it
The Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your spouse.
More Mexican Jokes
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