Iraq Jokes

Short Iraq Jokes
Q: How did you get out of Iraq?
A: Iran

Q: Why is Saudi Arabia clueless?
A: Because they live under Iraq.

Q: How does every Iraqi joke start?
A: By looking over your shoulder.

Q: Whats the difference between a smart Iraqi and a unicorn?
A: Nothing,theyre both fictional characters

Q: Did you hear about the winner of the Iraqi beauty contest?
A: Me neither.

Q: What do you call a building full of Iraqis?
A: Jail

Q: What do you call a reflective Iraqi girl?
A: Amira

Q: What do you call an evil Iraqi?
A: Mu Ha Ha Ha Med.

Q: What do you call a terrorist attack in Iraq?
A: a Selfie!

Q: What do you call an Iraqi who owns a camel and a goat?
A: Bisexual.

Q: What do you call an Iraqi who owns 6 goats?
A: A pimp.

Q: Why does Iraq smell so bad?
A: Because they have alot of gas.

Q: What's the fastest way to break up a bingo game in Baghdad?
A: You shout out, "B-52"

Q: A rich Iraqi, a poor Iraqi, and Santa Claus all jump off a building, which one will hit the ground first?
A: The poor Iraqi, the other two don't exist

Q: Have you heard about the new Royal Iraqi Air Force exercise program?
A: Each morning you raise your hands above your head and leave them there.

Q: What should Iraq get for its air defense system?
A: A refund.

Q: What did the Iraqi train conductor say?
A: Allah board.

Q: What do you call a completely shaven Iraqi?
A: A smooth criminal.

Q: Did you hear about the Catholic Iraqi?
A: He was a Shite Muslim.

Q: Who is an Iraqi Hero?
A: He's the one that waited thirty seconds before he surrendered.

Q: Why aren't there any Walmarts in Iraq?
A: Because there is a target on every corner.

Q: What do you call 4 Iraqi women in a sauna.
A: Gorilla's in the mist.

Q: What did Saddam say to George Bush after he invaded Kuwait?
A: Read my lips, I'm pulling out of Kuwait.

Q: What does Saddam want for Thanksgiving?
A: Turkey.

Q: Why doesn't Saddam go out drinking?
A: Why should he when he can get bombed at home?

Q: What does Saddam Hussein have in common with Fred Flinstone?
A: They both can look out of their window and see rubble!

Q: What do you call Saddam Hussein's 99-year-old father?
A: SoDamInsane

Last Request

One day in 2015, Russia bombed Iraq and America, so Iraq and the US had no choice but to be allies.
Then, an Iraqi and an American were both captured by Russian terrorists, and they asked if they had any last requests before they got their heads blown off.
The American says, "can you play America the Beautiful one last time?"
The Russian guy asks the Iraqi for any last requests.
The Iraqi says, "can you shoot me before you play America the Beautiful?"


A friend asked the mulla how old are you?
Forty replied the mullah.
The friend said but you said the samething two years ago !
Yes replied the mullah, I always stand by what I have said.

You May Have Lost Your Donkey, Saddam, But You Don't Have To Grieve Over It More Than You Did About The Loss Of Your First Wife.
Ahh, But If You Remember, When I Lost My Wife, All You Villagers Said: We'll Find You Someone Else. So Far, Nobody Has Offered To Replace My Donkey."

Three guys, a Canadian, Saddam Hussein and Uncle Sam are out walking together one day.
They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it. "I will give each of you one wish, that's three wishes total," says the Genie.
The Canadian says, "I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in Canada."
With a blink of the Genie's eye, 'POOF' the land in Canada was forever made fertile for farming.
Saddam Hussein was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around Iraq, so that no infidels, Jews or Americans can come into our precious state." Again, with a blink of the Genie's eye, 'POOF' there was a huge wall around Afghanistan.
"Uncle Sam", asks, "I'm very curious. Please tell me more about this wall." The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 1,000 feet high, 50 feet thick and completely surrounds the country; nothing can get in or out; it's virtually impenetrable."

Uncle Sam says, "Fill it with water."

A terrorist went to the local hookah bar in Iraq with his new camel parked outside.
While in the bar his friend asked him "What is the sex of his camel?"
The owner replied "It is a female"
His friend asked him "How did he know?"
And the owner told him about a mile down the road he passed 2 American Marines and 1 pointed at him and said "Look at the big pussy on the camel"

Phone Call

Three men want make phone call from Hell to remind to their relatives about its harsh conditions
Their Nationalities were American, Italian and Iraqi.
So they decide to go to Devil who is the boss.
So the American made a call and the Devil made him to pay 100 USD, then an Italian made a call and the Devil made him to pay 10 Euros on fact that Italy is less developed than that of USA.
LASTLY an Iraqi made a call and the Devil made him to pay a cent
Both the American and Italian complain as it is not fair and the devil responded to them
"The Iraqi call was a local call whereas your was an International call"

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