Short Indonesia Jokes
Q: Why don't the Indonesians take showers anymore?
A: Because after the Tsunami they are washing up on the beaches!
Q: How does every Indonesian joke start?
A: By looking over your shoulder.
Q: What happens when a Mexican and an Indonesian make a baby?
A: A car thief who can't actually drive is born.
Q: How do you blind an Indonesian?
A: You put a windshield in front of him.
Q: Whats the difference between a smart Indonesian and a unicorn?
A: Nothing, they're both fictional characters
Q: Did you hear about the winner of the Indonesian beauty contest?
A: Me neither.
Q: Why wasn't Jesus born in Indonesia?
A: He couldn't find 3 wise men or a virgin.
A soldier in Indonesia saw a local man coming down the road with his wife behind him with a bicycle loaded with all their possessions. The soldier asked him why he carried nothing but a cigarette and his wife had to push the loaded bicycle alone. The man replied, "TRADITION".
Two weeks later he saw the same local man on the same road but this time she was in front and he was pushing the loaded bicycle. The soldier asked him what happened to TRADITION and the man said "LAND MINES"
You Know You Are Indonesian If
Your stomach growls when you don't eat rice for a day.
You think our country is a democracy.
You talk during a movie..
You eat fried rice in the morning.
You prefer Versace or Moschino jeans over Gap or Levi's.
You think Onky Alexander is a hunk.
You think Rhoma Irama is kampungan.
You carry a 16 oz. jar of sambal to where ever you travel.
You are willing to travel 25 miles to buy tahu and tempe.
Your local McDonald's serves rice and sambal.
You have ever tried passing a Rp 50 coin as a quarter in a US vending machine/pay phone.
You have smuggled electronics and porn into Indonesia.
You have ever legally bought pirated software.
Your whole class has ever cheated on a test, and gotten away with it.
You like the smell of terasi.
Your clothing has brand names printed on it that is visible from 50' away.
You have a can of Baygon on your kitchen table.
You make major decisions based on gengsi.
Once upon a time three people were stranded out at sea - A Japanese, a Malaysian and an Indonesian. The boat started leaking and if they do not act fast they would all die.
The Japanese (as usual) was the first to take the initiative. He threw all his Japanese gizmo - CD player, hi-fi, radio etc. off the boat. The Malaysian and the Indonesian looked at him in disbelief.
The Japanese said, "Don't worry.. still got a lot more in my country.. BANZAIIIEE!"
But the boat was still sinking. The Indonesian without hesitation started throwing aboard all his baju batik, kain batik, keretek, etc., etc. He comforted the other two, "Don't worry.. still have a lot more in my country, paknya".
But still the boat was sinking. The Japanese and the Indonesian looked at the Malaysian. Suddenly, without any hesitation and with stride, the Malaysian threw the Indonesian overboard. The poor guy couldn't swim and drowned. The Japanese was shocked. Said the Malaysian, "Don't worry... still got a lot more in MY country!!!".
An American businessman goes to Indonesia on a business trip, but he hates Indonesian food, so he asks the concierge at his hotel if there's any place around where he can get American food.
The concierge tells him he's in luck; there's a pizza place that just opened, and they deliver. The concierge gives the businessman the phone number, and he goes back to his room and orders a pizza.
Thirty minutes later, the delivery guy shows up to the door with the pizza.
The businessman takes the pizza, and starts sneezing uncontrollably. He asks the delivery man, "What the heck did you put on this pizza?"
The delivery man bows deeply and says, "We put on the pizza what you ordered, pepper only."
Once there was a man that came from Indonesia to America, He couldnt speak English so he went to choir and learned how to say "Me me me me me me."
Then he went to the store and saw a little girl say "He stole my dolly"
And on his way home he went to get meat from the butcher and learned how to say "Big butcher knife big butcher knife."
Then he went home and watched an air freshener commercial and learned how to say "Plug it in Plug it in."
Then he went to the store and there was a murder the police said "Who killed this man?"
The foreigner said "Me me me me me me me."
The police said "Why did you kill him?"
And the man said "He stole my dolly."
The police man said "What did you kill him with?"
The man said "Big butcher knife big butcher knife."
Then they took him to jail and sentenced him to death.
The police man said "any last words?"
And the foreigner said "Plug it in plug it in."