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India Jokes


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Short India Jokes

Q: How does every Hindu joke start?
A: By looking over your shoulder.

Q: Whats the difference between a smart Hindu and a unicorn?
A: Nothing, they're both fictional characters

Q: Did you hear about the winner of the India beauty contest?
A: Me neither.

Q: Why wasn't Jesus born in India?
A: He couldn't find 3 wise men or a virgin.

Q. What did the potato say when it answered the phone ?
A. "Aaloo?"

Q. Where do cauliflowers hang out?
A. In the Gobi desert.

Q. What kind of sweaters do grapes wear?
A. Angoora

Q. What is a vegetables favourite love song?
A. Love me tinda.

Q. What did the flower say to its girl-friend?
A. Why do phools fall in love?

Q. What did the fat car say?
A. I'm a mota car.

Q. What do shrimps sing on Christmas?
A. Jhinga Bells.

Q. What did the half eaten naan say?
A. I wish I was puri.

Q. What language do carrots speak?
A. Gajar-ati.

Q. What do you call a bald poet?
A. Ik-bal.

What are the degrees of egoism in Tamil Nadu?
I, Iyer, Iyengar.

What’s the opposite of Gopalakrishnan?
Comepalakrishnan.

How do they start a road race in Tamil Nadu?
Ready..Steady..PO

What do you call a really colourful Tamilian?
Rangamannar Rangarajan.

Sindhi Jokes

A Sindhi lawyer?:
Case-wani

A Sindhi lawyer after a case?:
Purse-wani

A blue-skier Sindhi?:
Akash-wani

What is a communist Sindhi called?
Lalwani.

What is a Sindhi who falls from the first floor called?
Thadani.

What is a Sindhi who falls from the 17th. floor called?
Kriplani.

What is a Sindhi who falls from the 30th. floor called?
Marjani.

What is the most noteworthy contribution of the Sindhis’ to Hindustani Music?
Raga Kirvani.

A god fearing Sindhi?
Bhagwandas Godwani

A Sindhi painter?
Sadarangani

A Sindhi chef?
Papadmull Kukreja

A Sindhi electrician?
Voltram Bijlani

A fashionable Sindhi?
Jogio Armani

A Sindhi milkman?
Gopal Dudeja

A heroic Sindhi soldier?
Hiroo Sipahimalani

A Sindhi pest control contractor?
Khatmull Marwani

A Sindhi stripper working in New York?
Barbra Jhangiani

A Sindhi casanova?
Prem Kissinchandani

A Sindhi fire-engine?
Bhambhani

A Sindhi detergent?
Neelam Rindani

A Sindhi postman?
Mailwani

A forgetful Sindhi?
Bulo Bhulchandani

A fashionable Sindhi?
Primlani

A fat Sindhi?
Hathiramani

Gujurati Jokes

Q: Why did the Gujju think the film Gandhi was about a woman?
A: Because Be(h)n Kingsley was in it.

Q: Why won’t the gujju jeweller sell anything to the UP ka bhayiya?
A: The bhayiya kept giving gujju a bunch of hair each time the gujju asked for ‘Kesh’

Q: What did the Gujju mean when he said, “Ramesh no dikro States ma gayon” ?
A: Ramesh’s son failed in statistics…

Q: Why did Bill Clinton have the gujju beaten?
A: The gujju told Clinton “You are an IMPOTENT man”

Q: What will a Gujju tell a tomato, coming last in a tomato race?
A: Tomato KETCHUP.

Q: Why did the gujju go to Rome?
A: He wanted to listen to POPE music.

Q: Why did the gujju go to London?
A: To see BIG BEHN.

Q: Why was the gujju stacking up 1 cent coins on the day before exams?
A: He wanted to get “cent-per-cent” .

Q: What did the Gujju have in the morning?
A: LIGHT SNAKES for breakfast.

Q: What did the Gujju say to the singing prostitute?
A: You are going from BED To VERSE.

Q: Did you know that Gujarati students are going to start a fraternity?
A: They named it Rho Beta Rho.

Q: Why did the gujjus take 50 paise when they went to watch “GANDHI”?
A: They read Atten( 8 annas)-bourough in the credits.

Q: What is a Gujju picnic koled?
A: A snake in the grass

Q: Why did the Gujju wear a Tuxedo to his vasectomy?
A: If he was going to become impotent, he wanted to look impotent.

Q: Why did the American get scared of the Gujju?
A: Because he said ‘Sue kare chhe.’

Q: Maro dikro Dubai gayo?
A: My son drowned.

Bengali Jokes

Q: What do you call a Bengali who takes bribe?
A: Mr. Goosh.

Q: What did one Bengali voyeur ask another?
A:Keyhollo.

Q: What do you call a bong who talks a lot, sometimes without making sense?
A:Mr. Chatterjee.

An angry Bengali letter?
Chitti-chitti Bong Bong

A talkative Bengali?
Bulbul Chatterjee

An outlawed Bengali?
Kanoon Banerjee

An enlightened Bengali?
Jyoti Basu

A Bengali who works?
A work of fiction

A stupid Bengali girl?
Balika Buddhu

A Bengali marriage?
Bedding

A mad Bengali?
In Sen

A dark Bengali who lives in a cave?
Kalidas Guha

A Bengali mobster?
Robin Ganguli

A perfumed Bengali?
Chandan Dass

A Bengali goldsmith?
Shonar Bongla

What’s bigger than the state of Bengal?
The Bay of Bengal

Mallu Jokes

Why does a Malayalee go to a temple?
Zimply to Bray.

How does a baby mallu cry?
“visa visa visa visa . . .”

Why did the Malayalee buy an air ticket?
To go to DUBAIH ..simbly to meet his UNGLE and AUNDY in GELF.

who was Bruce Lee’s best friend in Malayasia?
Malaya LEE

What did the Mallu scientist do on reaching the moon?
He tested the soil if it was fit to plant tapioca.

Why do Mallus wear Mundu?
Because in the Monsoon flood the mundu can be tucked upwards as the water rises.

What happens when a bakery in Kerala is named after a gerrl called Anu?
Its named ‘Anus Bakery’.

Why is industrial productivity so low in Kerala?
Because 86% of the shift time is spent on lifting, folding and re-tying the lungi.

What is the tax on Mallu’s income called?
IngumDax

What is Malayali management graduate called?
A Yem Bee Yae.

What is Bruce Lee’s favorite weapon?
Kodaa Lee

According to Bruce Lee, which is the Venomous snake?
Ana Lee

Place where Bruce Lee stays when he is in Kerala
Adima Lee

Currency Exchange

"A hindu man walked into the currency exchange in New York City with 5000 rupees and walked out with $100.

The following week, he walked in with another 5000 rupees, and was handed $84.

He asked the teller why he got less money that week than the previous week.

The teller said, "Fluctuations."

The hindu man stormed out, and just before slamming the door, turned around and shouted, "Fluc you Amelicans, too!"

Hindu Pizza

An American businessman goes to India on a business trip, but he hates Indian food, so he asks the concierge at his hotel if there's any place around where he can get American food.

The concierge tells him he's in luck; there's a pizza place that just opened, and they deliver. The concierge gives the businessman the phone number, and he goes back to his room and orders a pizza.

Thirty minutes later, the delivery guy shows up to the door with the pizza.

The businessman takes the pizza, and starts sneezing uncontrollably. He asks the delivery man, "What the heck did you put on this pizza?"

The delivery man bows deeply and says, "We put on the pizza what you ordered, pepper only."
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