Short Idaho Jokes
Q. What's the difference between a Idaho State University sorority sister and a scarecrow?
A. One lives in a field and is stuffed with hay. The other frightens birds and small animals.
Q. What does an Idaho Vandal do on Halloween?
A. Pump kin!
Q: What did the prostitute say to the potato?
Q. Why do ducks fly over Idaho upside down?
A. There's nothing worth craping on!
Q. How do you know the toothbrush was invented in Idaho?
A. If it was invented anywhere else, it would have been called a teethbrush.
Q: Did you hear that the governor's mansion in Idaho burned down?
A: Almost took out the whole trailer park.
Q: What's the most popular pick up line in Idaho?
A: Nice tooth!
Q: Why do folks from Idaho go to the movie theater in groups of 18 or more?
A: 17 and under are not admitted.
Q: Why couldn't the baby Jesus be born in Idaho?
A: Because they couldn't find 3 wise men or a virgin.
Q: Why did Idaho raise the minimum drinking age to 25?
A: They wanted to keep alcohol out of the high schools!
Q: What is 20 feet long and has 5 teeth?
A: The funnel cake line at the Idaho state fair.
Q: How can you tell if someone in Idaho is married?
A: The tobacco spit stains are on both sides of his pickup truck.
Q: Why do Boise State grads keep their diplomas on their dashboards?
A: So they can park in handicap spaces.
Q: Why are there so many unsolved murders in Idaho?
A: There are no dental records and everyone has the same DNA
Q: What does a Vandals grad call a Broncos grad in 5 years?
I'm not saying Boise State basketball players are dumb, but the coach is dressing six players for this Saturdays game.
The rest will dress themselves.
Q: Why is "The Wave" banned in Bronco Stadium?
A: Two Broncos fans drowned last year.
Q: Why did the Boise State regents decide to cover Bronco Stadium in cardboard?
A: Because the Broncos always look better on paper.
Q: Why do Idaho people prefer the missionary position for screwing sheep?
A: So they can kiss em' , stupid.
Q: What happens when blondes move from Montana to Idaho?
A: Both states become smarter!
Q: Why aren't Boise State cheerleaders allowed to do the splits?
A: They stick to the ground.
Q: Why do all the trees in Montana lean west?
A: Idaho Sucks
Q: What does a girl from Boise State do if she's not in bed by 10pm?
A: Go Home.
Q: Why do University of Idaho basketball players use body heat activated deodorant?
A: Because it's the closet they will come to getting a "Degree".
Q: Why do Idaho State students have such beautiful noses?
A: They're hand picked.
Q: Why did Idaho State disband its water polo team?
A: All the horses drowned.
Q: What's the difference between a Idaho State diploma and toilet paper?
A: About $50,000 per sheet.
Q: What does it say on the back of every Boise State diploma?
A: Will Work For Food.
Q: Why did the Southern Idaho grad cross the road?
A: Better question why is he out of jail?
Q: How does a dumb blonde get into college?
A: She applies to Boise State.
Q: Why did the Boise State Broncos change their uniforms to Orange?
A: So they can play the game, direct traffic, and pick up trash without changing.
Q: What's the one thing that keeps Boise State basketball players from graduating?
A: Going to Class.
Q: Why did the Boise State football team cross the road?
A: Because it was easier than crossing the goal line.
Q: How is a Idaho State girl different from a bowling ball?
A: Sometimes a bowling ball is hard to pick up.
Q: What do Vandals grads use for Birth Control?
A: Their personalities.
Q: How do you break a Idaho State grads finger?
A: Punch him in the nose.
Q: How do you get a Broncos fan to laugh all weekend long?
A: Tell him a joke Monday morning.
Q: Why do Idaho State fans smell so bad?
A: So blind people can hate them too.
Q: Why did Boise State change their field from grass to blue artificial turf?
A: To keep the Broncos cheerleaders from grazing the field at halftime.
Q: Did you hear that 9 out of 10 coeds are good looking?
A: The other one goes to Idaho State.
Q: Whats the difference between Boise and yogurt?
A: Yogurt has an active living culture.
Q: Why do the Boise State Broncos eat cereal straight from the box?
A: They choke whenever they get near a bowl.
Q: What's the difference between Bronco Stadium and a cactus?
A: The cactus has its pricks on the outside.
Q: What separates a good team from a great team?
A: The Oregon-Idaho border.
Q: How do you confuse a Idaho State student?
A: You can't they were born that way.
Q: How do you get from Eugene, OR to Boise, ID?
A: Go east until you smell shit and south until you step in it.
Q: What will you never hear a Idaho State grad say?
A: "I have reviewed your application......"
Q: What do you call a good looking girl on the University of Idaho campus?
A: A visitor.
Q: Did you hear about the power outage at the Idaho State University library?
A: Thirty students were stuck on the escalator for three hours.
Q: Did you hear about the fire in University of Idaho's football dorm that destroyed 20 books?
A: The real tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet.
Q: What does the average Idaho State University student get on his SAT?
Q: How many Idaho State University freshman does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, it's a sophomore course.
Q: If you have a car containing a Broncos wide receiver, a Broncos linebacker, and a Broncos defensive back, who is driving the car?
A: The cop.
Q: What is the definition of safe sex down in Idaho?
A: Placing signs on the animals that kick.
Q: How do you casterate a Boise State Broncos fan?
A: Kick his sister in the mouth
Q: Whats the difference between the Boise State Broncos and cheerios?
A: One belongs in a bowl. The other doesn't!
Q: Why do Idaho students have TGIF on their shoes?
A: Toes Go In First!
Q. What do you get when you drive quickly through the University of Idaho campus?
A. An undergraduate degree.
Q: Why are rectal thermometers banned at the University of Idaho?
A: They cause too much brain damage!
Q: What should you do if you find three Boise State Broncos football fans buried up to their neck in cement?
A: Get more cement.
Q: What's the difference between an Boise State Broncos fan and a carp?
A: One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.
Q. Why do they sell so many button-fly jeans in Idaho?
A. Because the sheep can hear the zippers a mile away.
Q. How did the Boise State Bronco die from drinking milk?
A. The cow fell on him!
Q: What is the definition of a Idaho virgin?
A: An ugly twelve year old who can outrun her brothers..
Q: What does a Boise State Broncos fan do when his team has won the BCS championship?
A: He turns off the PlayStation 3.
Q: What do you call a Boise State Bronco in a BCS bowl game?
A: A referee.
Q: What's the difference between an Boise State Broncos football player and a dollar?
A: You can get four quarters out of a dollar.
Q: Did you hear that Boise State's football team doesn't have a website?
A: They can't string three "Ws" together.
Q: How many Boise State Broncos does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. Lava lamps don't burn out man!
Q: What are the best four years of an Boise State Broncos life?
A: Third grade
Q: What does a Idaho native and a bottle of beer have in common?
A: They're both empty from the neck up.
Q: What do tornadoes and graduates from Boise State University have in common?
A: They both end up in trailer parks.
Q. How do they separate the men from the boys at Boise State?
A. With a restraining order.
Q. What's the first thing a Boise State girl does when she wakes up in the morning?
A. Walks home.
Q: What do you call a Boise State football player with a championship ring?
A: A thief!
Idaho, still the only state where you can get a divorce and still be brother and sister!
A country bumpkin family from Idaho decides to go to the Big Apple for the first Time in their lives; Maw, Paw and their son.
They go into the Empire State Building. As they're walking around they notice the elevator.
Never seeing one before they stand in front of it bewildered.
While staring at it, an old lady in a wheelchair rolls up to it, pushes the button, the door opens, she rolls herself inside and the door closes.
The Idaho redneck family watches as the lights for each floor light as it goes up. They continue to watch as the numbers go down again.
The door opens and out walks this tall gorgeous blonde. Legs to her neck. Great figure. Beautiful!
Paw looks at his son and says, "Quick boy, shove yer Maw in there!"
Falling in Love
A man fell in love with the girl of his dreams. They were perfect for each other, except for one minor problem: She was an BYU Cougars fan and he was a TCU Horned Frogs fan. He decided to make the ultimate sacrifice and become a BYU fan.
He went to the doctor and asked if there was an easy way to do this. The doctor replied, "Yes, it's a very simple procedure. What we do is go in and remove half your brain. When you wake up, you will be a BYU Cougars fan."
The man agrees, and the next week goes into surgery. After he wakes up the doctor comes up to him concerned. "Sir, I apologize, but there was a mix-up with the scalpel. Instead of removing half your brain we removed 3/4 of it. How do you feel?"
The man sat up, looked around, and said "GO BRONCOS!"
A Boise State Broncos fan and a BYU Cougars fan were driving along when all of a sudden the Boise State fan slams on the brakes.
There was a sheep with her head stuck in the fence and the Boise State fan said "We Broncos never pass up an opportunity like this!" And he gets out and has his way with the sheep.
Then he says to the BYU fan, "Your turn"...
And the Cougars fan bends over and sticks his head in the fence.
One Day This Kid And His Mom Were Walking Past A Cemetery When They Past A Grave And the Kid Stopped To Read It.
He Read Aloud "Here Lies A Boise State Graduate And A Great Man."
The Kid Then Says "Mom I Dont Get It."
The Mom Says "Why Not?"
The Kid Says "Why Are there 2 People Burried here?"
A Boise State Broncos fan was in the finals of the state spelling bee.
"Okay, your word is 'farm,'" the moderator said to the Bronco.
He sat there for a few minutes with a puzzled look on his face. "Um... Can I have a definition?"
"Sure," the moderator said. "It is a plot of agricultural land, used for the raising of crops and livestock."
"Uhhh..." The Idaho native sat there for several more minutes, continuing to ask for alternative pronunciations, word origins, etc. The moderator was getting frustrated. Finally the Broncos fan asked, "Uh, can you use it in a sentence?"
"Old MacDonald had a FARM!" the moderator shouted.
"Oh!" said the Bronco. "E-I-E-I-O!"