Afghanistan Jokes

Short Afghanistan Jokes

Q: Why aren't there any Wal Marts in Afghanistan?
A: Because there's a Target on every corner.

Q: How does every Afghanistan joke start?
A: By looking over your shoulder.

Q: Whats the difference between a smart Afghan and a unicorn?
A: Nothing, they're both fictional characters

Q: Did you hear about the winner of the Afghan beauty contest?
A: Me neither.

Q: What do you call a reflective Afghan girl?
A: Amira

Q: Why wasn't Jesus born in Afghanistan?
A: He couldn't find 3 wise men or a virgin.

Q: What do you call a building full of Afghans?
A: Jail

Q: Why doesn't Osama go out drinking?
A: Why should he when he can get bombed at home?

Q: What does Osama Bin Laden have in common with Fred Flinstone?
A: They both can look out of their window and see rubble!

Q: What did the Afghan train conductor say?
A: Allah board.

Q: What's the fastest way to break up a bingo game in Afghanistan?
A: You shout out, "B-52"

Q: A rich Afghani, a poor Afghani, and Santa Claus all jump off a building, which one will hit the ground first?
A: The poor Afghani, the other two don't exist

Q: What do you call an Afghan who owns a camel and a goat?
A: Bisexual.

Q: What do you call an Afghan who owns 6 goats?
A: A pimp.

Q: What do you call an evil Afghani?
A: Mu Ha Ha Ha Med.

Q: Who is an Afghan Hero?
A: He's the one that waited thirty seconds before he surrendered.

Q: How do you play Taliban bingo?
A: B-52...F-16...B-1...

Q: How is Bin Laden like Fred Flintstone?
A: Both may look out their windows and see Rubble.

Q: What do you call 4 afghani women in a sauna.
A: Gorilla's in the mist.

Q: What is the Taliban's national bird?
A: Duck

Q: What do Bin Laden and Hiroshima have in common?
A: Nothing, yet.

Q: What does Osama bin laden and General Custer have in common?
A: They both want to know where those Tomahawks are coming from!

Q: Why doesn't the Taliban have drivers ed and sex ed classes on the same day?
A: Because the camels can't handle it.

Q: What's the five-day forecast for Afghanistan?
A: Two days.

Q:Why did Bin Ladin stop having sex with his wife?
A:Because everytime he would spread her legs he saw Bush!

R.I.P. Osama bin Laden - World Hide and Go Seek Champion (2001-2011)

Last Request

One day in 2015, Russia bombed Afghanistan and America, so Iraq and the US had no choice but to be allies.
Then, an Afghan and an American were both captured by Russian terrorists, and they asked if they had any last requests before they got their heads blown off.
The American says, "can you play America the Beautiful one last time?"
The Russian guy asks the Afghani for any last requests.
The Afghani says, "can you shoot me before you play America the Beautiful?"


A friend asked the mulla how old are you?
Forty replied the mullah.
The friend said but you said the samething two years ago !
Yes replied the mullah, I always stand by what I have said.

You May Have Lost Your Donkey, Osama, But You Don't Have To Grieve Over It More Than You Did About The Loss Of Your First Wife.
Ahh, But If You Remember, When I Lost My Wife, All You Villagers Said: We'll Find You Someone Else. So Far, Nobody Has Offered To Replace My Donkey."

Three guys, a Canadian, Osama Bin Laden and Uncle Sam are out walking together one day.
They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it. "I will give each of you one wish, that's three wishes total," says the Genie.
The Canadian says, "I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in Canada."
With a blink of the Genie's eye, 'POOF' the land in Canada was forever made fertile for farming.
Osama Bin Laden was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around Afghanistan, so that no infidels, Jews or Americans can come into our precious state." Again, with a blink of the Genie's eye, 'POOF' there was a huge wall around Afghanistan.
"Uncle Sam", asks, "I'm very curious. Please tell me more about this wall." The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 1,000 feet high, 50 feet thick and completely surrounds the country; nothing can get in or out; it's virtually impenetrable."

Uncle Sam says, "Fill it with water."

Phone Call

Three men want make phone call from Hell to remind to their relatives about its harsh conditions
Their Nationalities were American, Italian and Afghan.
So they decide to go to Devil who is the boss.
So the American made a call and the Devil made him to pay 100 USD, then an Italian made a call and the Devil made him to pay 10 Euros on fact that Italy is less developed than that of USA.
LASTLY the Afghan made a call and the Devil made him to pay a cent
Both the American and Italian complain as it is not fair and the devil responded to them
"The Afghan call was a local call whereas your was an International call"

A Canadian guy, an American guy, a Japanese guy, and an Afghan guy walk into a bar.
They all have a couple of beers, and get to bragging.
The American guy boasts, "I'm so lucky, I have 4 beautiful children, one more and I would have a basketball team."
Not to be outdone, the Canadian guy retorts, "I am luckier than you, I have 5 gifted children, one more and I could form a hockey team."
So, the Japanese guy chimes in with, "Well, I surely have both of you topped. I have 8 children. Just one more and I would have a baseball team."
Pausing, briefly, the Afghan guy replies, "Well, I am betting I have all you fools beat. my harem houses 17 wives, one more and I would have a golf course!".

Joke Generators: