Q: Did you hear the one about the geologist?
A: He took his wife for granite so she left him
Q: What do you get when you mix sulfur, tungsten, and silver?
A: SWAG
Q: What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano?
A: I Lava You!
Q: Why did the geologist take his girlfriend to the quarry?
A: He wanted to get a little boulder.
Q: How did the geology student drown?
A: His grades were below C-level
Q: What is the difference between a geologist and a chemist?
A: A chemist will drink anything that is distilled.
A: A geologist will drink anything that is fermented.
Watson: Holmes! What kind of rock is this!
Holmes: Sedimentary, my dear Watson.
Q: If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?
A: H2O cubed.
Q: Did you hear about the geologist who was reading a book about Helium?
A: He just couldn't put it down.
Q: What happens when someone throws a rock at you?
A: You hit RocksBottom.
Q: What do you call a periodic table with gold missing?
A: "Au revoir"
Q: What element is derived from a Norse god?
A: Thorium.
Q: What did the geologist say when his doctor asked him if he was ready for his colonic?
A: No FRACKING way!!!
Q: What do you do with a dead geologists?
A: Barium
Q: What weapon can you make from the elements potassium, nickel and iron?
A: A KNiFe.
Q: Anyone know any jokes about sodium deposits?
A: Na
Q: Wanna hear the mountain joke?
A: nah you won't get over it
Q: Why shouldn't you let a geologist drive your car?
A: Because they get hammered and stoned.
Q: What do you call a can of pop found in a conglomerate?
A: Coca-Cola Clastic
Q: Why do Earth Science professors like to teach about ammonia?
A: Because it's basic material.
Q: What did the Cowboy Chemist tell his horse?
A: HIO Ag!
Q: If H20 is water what is H204?
A: Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming.
Q: According to a geologist, why is the world so diverse?
A: Because it's made up of alkynes of people.
Q: What do geologists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A: A ferrous wheel.
Q: What's wrong with a joke involving Cobalt, Radon, and Ytterium?
A: its CoRn Y
Q: What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?
A: OH SNaP!
Q: How did the blonde define hydrophobic on her Earth Science exam?
A: Fear of utility bills.
Q: What fruit contains Barium and double Sodium?
A: BaNaNa!
Q: What is the chemical formula for the molecules in candy?
A: Carbon-Holmium-Cobalt-Lanthanum-Tellurium or CHoCoLaTe
Q: Why do Geologists go to Lollapalooza?
A: To get their "Rock" On.
Q: What did the Psychologist tell the geologist?
A: "Every decline is a great Break Through"
Q: What happens when you look up geology jokes?
A: You know you've hit rock bottom!
Q: Why was the sedimentary rock extra cheap?
A: Because it was on shale.
Q: Why wasn't the geologist hungry?
A: He lost his apatite.
Q: Why shouldn't you lend a geologist money?
A: They consider a million years ago to be Recent.
Q: Mountains aren't funny....?
A: They're hilarious.
Q: Why was the Geologist expelled from Reform School?
A: He was a dirty layer!
Q: What's black, white, purple, yellow and blue?
A: Sugilite, opal, and sardonyx fighting over a gumball.
Q: Where do geologists like to relax?
A: In a rocking chair
Why are geologists good at stand up comedy?
They know really "dirty" jokes
Did you know that geologists are athletic?
Yeah, I read it in Quartz illustrated.