Q: What do you call a map guide to Alcatraz?
A: A con-tour map.
Q: If Mississippi bought Virginia a New Jersey, what would Delaware?
A: Idaho... Alaska!
Q: What do Clint Eastwood and a map key have in common?
A: Both are legends.
A giant destroyed 3 countries the other day.
He picked up Turkey dipped it in Greece and then fried it in Japan.
Q: What do maps and fish have in common?
A: Both have scales.
Q: What did Delaware?
A: A New Jersey.
Q: What is round at each end and high in the middle?
Q: How did the geography student drown?
A: His grades were below C-level
Q: What is smarter, longitude or latitude?
A: Longitude, because it has 360 degrees
Q: Where do crayons go on vacation?
Q: Do you want to eat your food here?
A: No I'll take it Togo (to go).
Q: Why do paper maps never win poker tournaments?
A. Because they always fold.
Q: Why aren't there any Wal Marts in Afghanistan?
A: Because there's a Target on every corner.
Q: What do you call a stoners wife?
Q: Why don't cartography students wear high heels?
A: They prefer map flats.
Q: Why didn't true north date magnetic north?
A: She didn't like his bearing.
Q: Why is it easy to get into Florida?
A: Because there are so many keys.
Q: Why did the dot go to college?
A: Because it wanted to be a graduated symbol.
Q: What kind of maps do spiders make?
A: Web-based maps.
Q: What is a nautical chart's best pitch?
A: The depth curve.
Q: What kind of contours can see in the dark?
A: Illuminated contours.
Q: What's a pirate favorite country?
Q: What always sits in the corner but can move all round the world?
A: A stamp.
Q: What do you call a country that looks like one thigh?
Q: Where do fish keep their money?
A: In riverbanks.
Q: What do you call the little rivers that flow into the Nile?
Q: How can you tell which compasses and scales are intelligent?
A: Because they're all graduated.
Q: What did Dela ware to the Iditarod?
A: I don't know but alaska?
Q: What's big, white, furry and always points North?
A: a Polar Bearing.
Q: What does a psychic and a cartographer have in common?
A: They both specialize in projections.
Q: What city always cheats at exams?
Q: Why does the Yeti know all the map symbols?
A: Because he's a legend.
Mountains aren't just funny, they're hill areas! (hilarious)